Many of us are driven by inner restlessness and longing. A sense that something is missing in life, although it is difficult to put our finger on what it is.

We have the belief (even if we’re not aware of it) that when we have a better relationship, a more fulfilling job, more money, the next vacation, a better body, or many other things, we’ll feel satisfied. That our life will feel more complete.

And yet even when we get a new relationship, more money or whatever it is, we still feel there must be more.

So what is it that we’re really looking for? What are we seeking?

At the heart of this seeking is the need to know who we are and why we are here. What is this journey we call life all about?

I personally experienced this nagging feeling that something was missing over a decade ago. This nagging feeling was manifesting as stress-related health issues, relationship struggles and a lack of meaning and purpose. I had no name for it at the time and no idea how to make sense of it, only a feeling. I later came to call it soul hunger, and learned that it was more common than I realized.

What does the feeling that something is missing mean?

This sense that something is missing is often an invitation to become more aware of our deeper selves and who we are beyond the surface level of our lives.

It’s a spiritual impulse and invitation to embark on an inner journey in order to understand ourselves better and shed the limiting beliefs that are holding us back from becoming our best and most authentic selves.

It often happens at a time in our lives when we’re acutely aware that we have a lot to be grateful for.

We notice an inner tug of war between the part of us that tells us we should just be grateful and the part of ourselves that tells us there must be “more.”

And if feeling lost and confused isn’t enough, we also feel lonely because we find that most people don’t understand what we’re experiencing. We get the message, “You have so much and are so fortunate, what could possibly be missing in your life?” Just read all the comments below this article, and you’ll hopefully be comforted that you’re not alone!

What are these feelings and inner knowing that something is missing in our lives, trying to tell us? I began to see a pattern in the people I mentor, and it usually boils down to three things:

1. You may be disconnected from yourself.

In this scenario, we’ve been so busy focusing on other people or fulfilling the many roles in our lives that we lose touch with our innermost selves. We may have put a lot of time and energy into raising a family, and/or work and then something changes and we’re left asking- Who am I without these roles or this job? What am I meant to “do” now?

It’s not uncommon to lose sight of our own unique values, gifts, needs, and what makes us feel most vital and alive.

Our authentic self can easily get buried beneath a whole lot of layers and beliefs. We’re busy being a “good” person and doing what we should do to be productive human beings, and in the process, we can lose touch with who we actually are and who we’re meant to become.

2. You may be disconnected in your relationships.

As we begin to awaken to the spiritual impulse inside of us, we are less satisfied with living at the shallow end of life.

Our souls long for deep and fulfilling relationships where we can share our most intimate thoughts and feelings with those closest to us.

We want and need deeper connections with people and have a desire to share and discover our authentic selves with others in a safe and nourishing way.

Just as we are meant to grow and evolve, our relationships are also meant to grow and evolve. When this doesn’t happen, it’s common to feel like our relationships lack depth.

While earlier in our lives we may be satisfied with relationships that enable us to share the tasks and manage the roles in our lives, there comes a point when our souls need something deeper. What meets our needs in one chapter of our life doesn’t meet our needs in the next.

Shifting our way of being from a needs-based relationship into more soulful relationships can be very challenging. But if the soul needs a deeper connection and it’s not available to us, we are going to feel like something is missing.

3. You may be disconnected from something larger than yourself.

This gnawing sense that something is missing in life is a sign that we have a spiritual yearning that is awakening in us.

It’s an invitation from our soul to align our outer life with our inner truth. In The Call of the Soul: 10 Signs Your Soul is Speaking to You, I explore this further.

The Universe, divine, intelligence, God, higher power or whatever you call “it” is setting off an alarm which may be saying: “You are a spiritual being having a human experience.” When we don’t know how to live as spiritual beings, it is not surprising that it feels like something is missing.

Our society values material success, achievement, status, and identification with our roles. When we achieve these things and/or something changes, we are confused about what brings us deeper meaning and purpose.

We find ourselves asking what are often considered to be questions arising from our souls:

Is this all there is? How am I meant to contribute to something larger than myself? Where am I meant to invest this energy that previously went into my traditional roles and responsibilities?

Spirituality stirs a sense of curiosity, mystery, and a way of being that acknowledges that there is a life force beyond our control at play in our lives.

Eckhart Tolle, one of the great spiritual teachers of our time, explains that when we’re disconnected from our deeper selves, we commonly feel like something is missing.

In my own life, when I turned towards the feeling that something was missing and opened myself up to hear the answers, I learned that things were missing in all three areas.

As a Nurse, wife, mother, and friend, I thought I needed to put others first and in that process, I lost my sense of self. I also had a shy soul, and although I longed for deep, connected relationships, I was afraid to feel vulnerable. And last and probably most significant was the realization that I had no idea what it meant to be a spiritual being. I was living in a spiritual desert, and my soul was thirsty for the nourishment and connection to spirit.

And to get to the root of why I felt that way, I needed to learn how to build a loving, conscious relationship with myself. Most of us were never taught how to build and sustain that relationship, and when it’s missing, everything else eventually feels like it is too.

When we create space, turn inward and get curious about what is missing in our lives, we open the door to evolving into a more authentic, peaceful and loving version of ourselves.

If you’re not sure where to begin, the simplest place I know is a daily meditation practice. Even a few minutes a day begins to create the inner quiet where answers can arise. I share how to start in the article, A Simple Daily Meditation Practice For Calm, Clarity and Resilience.

If this resonated, our community would love to hear from you in the comments below. What does this feeling look like in your life right now?”

If you’re ready to explore what’s underneath this feeling and find your way back to yourself, I work with people one-on-one through my mindfulness coaching program. You’re welcome to reach out.