4 Pillars Of Transformation: How To Become Your Future Best Self

We’re at a pivotal time when an increasing number of people are feeling the inner stirrings of their souls to discover and become the best version of themselves.

The challenge with the transformation journey is that the way forward is often unclear. We’re being invited into the liminal space where what worked in the past no longer works, and we’re left feeling lost, confused and stuck. For many, it feels like they’ve entered what is known in spiritual circles as the dark night of the soul. 

The Soul's Journey and Soul Hunger.

The attached diagram illustrates the journey of transformation and the two forces we need to navigate: One is the energy of our conditioned self based on our past, which keeps us stuck.

The other energy arises from our soul and is the energy of our becoming and what’s calling us forward.

The transformation process is similar to what a caterpillar goes through when transforming into a butterfly. Like a caterpillar, we need to go inward into a cocoon to learn how to navigate our lives from the inside out.

The caterpillar or our conditioned self gorges on all sorts of information and beliefs that shape who we think we should be. The process requires us to shed who we’ve outgrown and create space for our true selves to merge.

As we enter the right relationship with our personality and soul, we live with a deeper sense of inner peace, well-being and authentic happiness.

Folks on the path of consciously becoming are embarking on their own hero’s journey –  going on a courageous adventure to discover their true selves.

There are 4 pillars of transformation to become our future best selves: self-regulation, self-love, self-discovery and self-transcendence. These 4 pillars honour that we are spiritual beings having a human experience with a body, mind and soul.

Honouring these 4 pillars ensures that we don’t spiritually bypass the messy aspects of being human with our health challenges, relationship struggles and the like. They also enable us to grow beyond the mechanistic view of human beings to create meaning around our challenges by drawing on spiritual wisdom that transcends religion. They cultivate a calm body, clear mind, compassionate heart and courageous soul.

The 4 pillars of transformation are:

1. Self-regulation.

The first pillar focuses on calming our distracted monkey minds, focusing our attention on the present moment, and beginning to regulate our often dysregulated nervous systems.

Our nervous system knows whether we are feeling safe or stressed. Consciously becoming aware of our inner states at any moment is the foundation for creating inner peace and the rest and repair state that promotes physical, mental and spiritual health.

Without the skill and awareness to self-regulate and feel safe, it’s impossible to progress in exploring and understanding the deeper sense of who we are.

I recommend that people start with a simple, core meditation practice. In the blog, With SO Many Choices, What’s The Best Meditation For Me, I provide practical tips on where to begin and links to helpful resources.

It’s also essential to learn practices that stimulate the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic branch of the nervous system that supports our body’s ability to rest and repair. The American Institute of Stress summarizes Easy Ways to Nourish Your Vagus Nerve to Become More Content.

2. Self-love.

Self-love, which includes self-compassion and forgiveness, is necessary for developing the right relationship with ourselves.

We need to learn how to develop wise and compassionate boundaries, clarify our values, hopes, dreams, and needs, and then make empowered decisions that align with who we’re becoming.

The journey is often challenging as we’re beginning to see our blind spots and take radical responsibility and courageous action in our lives.

The practice of forgiveness is a powerful step towards self-love as we let go of stuck energy that prevents us from stepping into our true selves.

I outline a 6-step forgiveness process and provide helpful resources in the post, Feel The Power Of Forgiveness To Free Your Heart And Soul.

This process recognizes that while we are spiritual, we are also human beings. It provides a structure and process for forgiveness that begins with telling our story and feeling the hurt and pain that the person or situation triggered in us. It creates space to release the stored energy and emotions that get stuck in our bodies and impact our physical and mental health.

4. Self-discovery.

This pillar requires that we discover who we are beyond our historical, conditioned personality.

It requires learning to discern the difference between thoughts, emotions and actions arising from our conditioned and higher selves.

To be deeply happy and fulfilled, we need to connect with that part of ourselves that represents our true self that is energized by our soul and includes a blueprint for who we’re meant to become. Much like an acorn, it will become an oak tree.

This pillar involves illuminating the limiting beliefs often imposed on us by our parents, society, spouses, and culture so we can replace them with ones that support self-expression and living authentic lives that feel good to our souls.

With the wisdom of the Enneagram of personality, we bring our gifts, blindspots and growth path into awareness, enabling us to see what’s holding us back from becoming who we’re meant to become. I explain why this combination is so powerful in Meditation And The Enneagram: The Transformation Dream Team.

4. Self-transcendence.

This pillar ultimately opens us up to navigating our lives from the inside out and tuning in to the higher promptings of our souls and what’s calling us forward. It brings our soul’s energy to our actions and the ways we’re called to be of service and live a purposeful life that extends beyond survival.

The journey of transformation requires that we develop the capacity to use both sides of our brain, cultivate intuition, connect with our gut instincts, and get in the flow of life to be open to synchronicities.

The post 5 Tips To Connect With Your Soul If You’re Feeling Disconnected provides suggestions for cultivating a deeper connection with our higher selves, enabling us to get in the natural flow of life and live an authentic life that feels good to our soul.

Understanding and using the spiritual laws of the universe to manifest what wants to be brought forth through us for the betterment of ourselves and others is when we truly feel like we’re in the flow of life.

Our actions arise from wisdom and are fueled by love.

As we integrate the 4 pillars of transformation into our lives, we begin to live a vital, connected and deeply meaningful life.

Let’s chat in the comments. Our community would love to hear from you!