Have you ever tried to meditate and felt like you were failing? You sit down, close your eyes, and instead of peace, you’re flooded with racing thoughts, restlessness, or feeling anxious. You might have thought to yourself, “I just can’t meditate. Maybe it’s not for me.”

You’re not alone. As a meditation teacher, I’ve heard this countless times from people who are struggling with meditation and feel discouraged when their practice feels impossible. I also know this feeling from the inside, having lived through a season of my own life when meditation wasn’t the best place to start.

Here’s the truth: no one is incapable of meditating. But there are times when meditation feels out of reach, and it’s not because you’re failing; it’s because your system needs something different first.

In my experience, people who are struggling with meditation often fall into two groups. For some, the nervous system is too dysregulated to settle. For others, it’s a misunderstanding about what meditation actually is. Both can make it feel like you’re “bad” at meditating, when in fact you just need a different doorway.

Why So Many People Are Struggling With Meditation

Not long ago, a gentleman reached out to me in the midst of what he described as a dark night of the soul. He told me he had tried to meditate but couldn’t. Every time he sat down, his mind raced faster and his anxiety spiked.

As we spoke, it became clear that his struggle wasn’t about meditation itself. His nervous system was deeply dysregulated. When the body is stuck in a state of high alert, it interprets stillness as unsafe. The simple act of sitting quietly with yourself can feel overwhelming because your system is already flooded with stress signals.

This is why meditation isn’t always the best starting point. When our nervous system is dysregulated, we often need gentler practices that help bring us back into balance before meditation feels accessible. That might mean using the breath to shift out of fight or flight, moving the body, practicing vagal toning, or learning tools to create a sense of inner safety in the moment.

I know this from personal experience as well. There was a time in my own life when chronic stress pushed me into dysregulation. Even though I had been meditating for years, I suddenly couldn’t. My anxiety was high, I couldn’t sleep, and strange symptoms like ringing in my head left me feeling unmoored. I had to pause my core practice and focus instead on nervous system regulation, like walking, breathwork, movement, and simple practices to restore balance. Only then could I return to my core meditation practice with steadiness.

If this resonates with you, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your system is asking you to begin in a different place. I’ve written more about this in my blog, Why Nervous System Regulation Holds the Key to Deep Healing, which offers a deeper look at why regulation is so foundational and how you can begin.

When Misunderstandings Get in the Way

The other common experience has less to do with the body and more to do with a widespread misunderstanding. I often hear people say, “I can’t stop my mind from thinking, so I must be doing it wrong.”

This belief quietly keeps so many people from even beginning a simple meditation practice. The truth is, meditation was never about stopping your thoughts. The mind was designed to think, just as the heart was designed to beat. What meditation invites us into is a different relationship with our thoughts — one where we notice them without being swept away, one where we gently guide our attention back to the present moment.

This is why learning from a qualified teacher can make all the difference. Without guidance, it’s easy to assume that the racing mind means failure. With support, you come to understand that noticing the thoughts and returning to your breath or your focus is the practice. Every return is a moment of training, like a weightlifter doing repetitions. Slowly, the mind learns steadiness.

I’ve never met anyone who couldn’t meditate. What I have seen are countless people who felt they were struggling with meditation because of this myth — and once they released the idea of a “silent mind,” they discovered the true gift of the practice.

For those curious about where to begin, you may find inspiration in The Best Meditation Practice To Reconnect With Yourself, where I share how simple practices can gently open the door.

A Different Way to See Your Struggle

If you’ve ever felt like you were struggling with meditation, I want you to know this: there is nothing wrong with you. Your struggle may be pointing to something deeper — either a nervous system that first needs calming or a misunderstanding about what meditation truly is.

For some, the next step is nervous system regulation. Breathwork, movement, vagal toning, or even something as simple as walking in nature can begin to restore balance. When the body feels safe, meditation naturally becomes more accessible.

For others, the next step is reframing what meditation really asks of us. It isn’t about silencing your mind. It’s about befriending it — gently bringing your attention back again and again, learning steadiness through practice rather than perfection.

The beauty is that both paths eventually lead to the same place: a steadier, calmer, more compassionate relationship with yourself. Meditation is still waiting for you, even if it isn’t the best place to start right now.

So if you’ve been struggling with meditation, let that be an invitation, not a verdict. Begin where you are. Trust that each step, whether it looks like breathwork, a mindful walk, or simply sitting with your thoughts, is part of your journey home.