Simple Presence Practice

Pain is a natural part of life — heartbreak, disappointment, loss, physical discomfort. These experiences are inevitable threads woven into the human story.

But here’s what changes everything: how we respond to that pain makes all the difference between brief discomfort and prolonged suffering.

The wisdom that “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional” teaches us something profound: while we can’t control what happens to us, we can learn to relate differently to our difficult experiences. When we resist what’s already here, we amplify our pain. When we meet it with awareness and kindness, we find a path through.

What the Science Says

Research in neuroscience shows that our brains often can’t distinguish between physical and emotional pain — both activate similar regions. But studies also reveal that mindfulness practices can literally rewire how we process difficult experiences.

When we practice mindful awareness of pain rather than resistance:

  • Activity in the anterior cingulate cortex (associated with emotional pain) decreases
  • The prefrontal cortex (our wise, observing mind) becomes more active
  • Stress hormones like cortisol are reduced
  • Our pain tolerance increases naturally

The brain’s neuroplasticity means that each time we meet pain with awareness instead of resistance, we strengthen neural pathways that support resilience.

What the Soul Knows

Beyond what science can measure lies a deeper truth: suffering often comes not from the pain itself, but from our stories about it.

“This shouldn’t be happening.”
“I can’t handle this.”
“When will this end?”

The soul understands that pain is part of love — we hurt because we care, because we’re alive, because we’re human. When we stop fighting this truth and learn to hold our pain with the same tenderness we’d offer a dear friend, something shifts. We discover we’re stronger than we knew.

A Simple Practice: N.A.K. (Notice, Allow, Kindness)

When you encounter pain — physical, emotional, or mental — try this gentle three-step practice:

Notice: Pause and become aware of what you’re feeling. Take a breath and ask: “What am I experiencing right now?”Simply observe without rushing to fix or change anything.

Allow: Instead of resisting, create space for the experience. You don’t have to like it, but can you let it be here for now? Breathe and give yourself permission to feel what’s present.

Kindness: Treat yourself with the compassion you’d show a beloved friend. Counter any inner criticism with gentle words: “It’s okay to feel this way. I’m doing the best I can.”

The Gentle Path Forward

This practice doesn’t eliminate pain — that’s not the goal. Instead, it teaches us to move through difficulty with grace rather than getting stuck in prolonged suffering.

Each time you choose awareness over resistance, kindness over criticism, you’re building your capacity to meet life’s inevitable challenges with greater ease. Pain may be unavoidable, but how long we suffer is often up to us.

The path isn’t about becoming invulnerable. It’s about becoming tender and strong at the same time — learning that we can hold both pain and peace, grief and gratitude, in the same heart.

Here’s a short 4-minute video to inspire you: