I hear from people worldwide experiencing what I struggled with years ago when my life lacked meaning and purpose.
Ironically, I was standing literally on top of the world, yet I had never felt emptier on the inside. My life lacked meaning and purpose.
I was 50 and travelling all over the world after a long, fulfilling career as a nurse. I had two grown children who were successfully launched, a great husband, family, and friends.
When my husband retired and wanted to start travelling more, it seemed the right decision to leave my career and explore the next chapter of my life.
Everybody who knew me was envious of my life, thought I had it all and was living the dream.
When the Dream Becomes a Nightmare
I lived the dream until I developed what I call soul hunger. A deep longing for a more meaningful and purposeful life that aligns our inner gifts with our outer purpose. The article Soul Hunger: The Silent Epidemic Of The 21st Century explores this little-talked-about, mysterious yet common phenomenon in further detail.
I found myself becoming increasingly unhappy with my life. I was busy but not doing things that felt meaningful to me. Something felt profoundly missing, even though I couldn’t name what it was.
Ironically, a life that looked like I was living the dream was causing anxiety, and a withdrawal of my life force energy left me wondering if I was depressed. I later discovered that my soul had withdrawn energy from my life because I wasn’t following a path that was right for me. I explore this further in What If Your Depression Is A Summons From The Soul To Awaken?
I wasn’t being true to myself, and I came to learn that I was living my husband’s dream and my soul had other plans for me. This disconnect impacted my emotional and physical health, as indicated by my stress hormone, cortisol, which resulted in a ripple of health issues.
This lived experience clearly demonstrated to me that we are holistic beings and can’t separate our body, mind, soul or spirit. Years later, it inspired me to create a holistic framework for transforming our relationship with stress for inner peace, well-being, authentic happiness and fulfillment.
The Search for Something More
When I was going through it, I didn’t understand what this soul hunger was all about. I tried many different things to find meaning in the life I had created. I travelled, golfed, socialized, painted, volunteered, did triathlons, and took courses in interior design.
That sounds great, but feeling like something was missing and wrong with my perfect life left me feeling lost, confused, and stuck.
I got to the point where my soul hunger had turned into soul pain, and I knew I needed to make some changes. I had no idea what, I just knew I needed to change.
I had experienced low points in my life, but this was different. I now know what I was going through, what has been described as the dark night of the soul, even though, at the time, I didn’t consider myself spiritual or religious.
It was such a powerful reminder that nature decides when it’s our time to cocoon and transform into a new way of being. In the article, What Is The Purpose Of The Dark Night Of The Soul I explain that this time of transition goes back a long way and has been described by Eckhart Tolle as “what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness.”
The Path Back Home to Myself
During this confusing time, I intuitively knew that the answers were not out there somewhere but that they were inside of me. That was the beginning of the shift, and learning to navigate my life in a new way from the inside out with my soul as the north star.
I began learning about the power of meditation and decided to try it. As I established a regular practice, a shift and transformation began. In the post, The Best Meditation When Something Feels Missing I shared a guided meditation and some suggestions on where to begin if you’re curious about setting up a core meditation practice.
My meditation practice lets me quiet my mind so that I can hear my soul and the little voice inside me.
I had profound insights, recognizing that I’d lived my life to meet the needs of others and that my decision to retire was made for my husband and not for myself. I was so used to going with the flow that I had lost touch with my own flow.
I realized that the dark night of the soul was the bridge between the first half of my life and the second half. The first half was where I fulfilled all my roles, and the second half was where my soul guided me.
When I connected with my soul, I knew I had not finished serving and sharing my gifts with the world. I experienced what Eckhart Tolle described as a “kind of rebirth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death that you die. What dies is the egoic sense of self.”
From My Journey to Your Transformation
What I learned through this journey became the foundation for how I now help others who feel similarly lost. Through my 4 Keys to Inner Peace framework, I guide people through the same transformation I experienced from disconnection back to themselves:
As I emerged from the dark night of the soul, I made changes to reconnect with my soul’s purpose; I needed to navigate my life in a new way and be guided from the inside out. I found this both challenging and exhilarating. I intuitively knew I was on the right track, although I needed to find the courage to follow a path that felt true to my soul.
My journey through the dark night of the soul was ultimately about a midlife awakening; however, I hear from younger folks worldwide who are awakening to a more profound sense of meaning and purpose as young adults.
They’re questioning the material values that emphasize the ego’s needs, and their souls are stirring at younger ages.
A Spiritual Health Crisis and Opportunity
Seeking meaning and purpose are signs of spiritual awakening, and we have a younger generation of budding mystics who are confused and asking the big questions: Who am I? What’s the meaning and purpose of my life? Why can’t I be happy? We have a spiritual health crisis.
We also have a tremendous opportunity to nurture and honour the awakening soul beckoning us to heal, evolve, and fully become our true selves.
As we become more fully who we’re meant to become, our lives blossom, and we feel at home within ourselves and find our place in the world.
If this story resonates and you’re ready to find your own path from emptiness to authentic purpose, I’d love to support you. I understand this journey intimately because I’ve lived it. My Ignite Your Spark coaching program was created specifically for people navigating this transformation from feeling lost to coming home to themselves.
If you feel inspired, please leave a comment below. Our community would love to hear from you!
This article offers such a grounded approach to seeking meaning. Bev’s insights on aligning with your inner self and living authentically are a guiding light for anyone on a spiritual path.
I just turned 50 yesterday and had a long heart to heart with my partner, about how all the external motivations that used to drive me, just don’t seem to hold any importance any more. I’ve “been there, done that”, travelled most of the world and ticked off my bucket list some time ago. I’ve achieved what I wanted to in my career and hobbies and I’ve had a fantastic life that I’m very grateful for. But now I have nothing to prove, neither to myself nor anyone else and the things that I used to be hungry for hold no appeal or value anymore. I spoke to my partner yesterday about needing to find purpose and motivation from within myself instead of being driven by external factors and pressures, and also that I’m now motivated more to do things for others and not for myself. I need to tap into something bigger, it needs to be something more than myself, not just pleasure seeking or ego feeding. The problem is though that I meditated daily for about 15 years for 2.5-5 hours, and that’s what seemed to lead to this point: a complete collapse of my previous existence, and a realisation of the futility of what I was doing and burning myself out for. Currently my only purpose is “staying alive” and existing uneventfully (rather than living joyfully and zestfully which I used to do instinctively), and I’m only doing that to keep other people happy. I’m trying to create goals, but even that is for the sake of having goals, in order to “keep going”, whereas before I had goals that were an intrinsic part of my psyche, I didn’t have to try and create them, they were already there, embedded, like I was following a story line that already existed, as soon as I arrived at a certain point the next paragraphs were revealed immediately, but all of that (or at least that way of being) seemed to come to a conclusion about 3 years ago, and it has left me floating with any more plot. I would really, truly love to find inner meaning, and understand what my purpose is now, but I genuinely don’t know how to find it, I don’t even know if I’m even supposed to have a driving purpose or if this stage of my life should actually just be an observer’s phase where I go with the flow without getting attached to any outcomes. It’s difficult to feel that just observing my life neutrally is worthwhile however rather than it feeling like idling away time that could be well spent on bettering myself, my environment or helping others (which I would do if I had a sense of direction or calling).
Thank you, Sandra, for sharing so openly. What you’ve described is something I hear more and more from people who’ve lived full, outwardly successful lives—only to find themselves in a chapter where the old motivations no longer hold meaning. It’s such a tender, disorienting, yet sacred place to find yourself in.
This sense of floating without a storyline… what a powerful way to describe the soul’s transition from external striving to something quieter and more internal. You’re not alone in this, and I want to gently affirm that what you’re experiencing may be the very beginning of a deeper unfolding—one not driven by ego or goals, but by something more authentic and soul-led.
I’ve written more about this feeling of “something missing” or what I call soul hunger in other blogs, if you’re ever curious to explore. And I’m always here to connect if a conversation would feel helpful. With love, Bev
Oh my goodness, I needed this! After a successful teaching career and parenting later in life, I have found myself feeling “lost” at 65. After years of being an anxious person who medicated with very much needed anxiety meds, this spring I felt compelled to get to get off them. It’s been a journey to say the least.
I came across this website when I googled depressed or on a spiritual journey and Voila!?
Hi Tracy,
I’m so glad the articles on my website resonated with you and were just what you needed! Love, Bev
Thank you for such an insightful article. I have been struggling and this morning while cycling the message came….I want something that is mine. There is a story there, of course. Read your article speaks about parts of my life. Peace be with you ?
Hi Marlene,
I’m so glad to hear that the article spoke to you and that you received a powerful message when you were out cycling. I love when the universe gives us those little nuggets and nudges. Love, Bev
Thank you for sharing your journey, I love when you said
“I tried journaling, meditation, mindfulness, forgiveness practices, self compassion practices, traditional counseling, mindful walking and eating, weight training, sleep habits, hormones and supplements, affirmative prayer, affirmations, daily inspirational readings, communication skills to use my voice, time in nature, gratitude, daily habits tracking, time alone, time with people and countless books”
Often times we think we just have to do one thing to experience a change, but we forget that we might have to do so many things and try so many tools in order to experience a real transformation. Often when I speak of spiritual tools, I refer to them as tools on my toolbox because really no toolbox carries only a single tool…..it is always a team of tools and together they can tackle any given situation.
Thank you for sharing,
Pheli
Dear Pheli, thank you for the insightful feedback. I love what you said about a “team of tools” and how we will likely need to try different things. A wonderful reminder for all of us!