If you’ve been quietly carrying the feeling that life feels empty, even when everything seems “fine” on the outside, you’re not alone. That ache beneath the surface isn’t a flaw—it’s a signal. And it might just be the beginning of something deeply meaningful.
As I shared in my blog about feeling like something is missing, this quiet ache often arises when we’ve disconnected from our authentic selves, living by “shoulds” instead of soul truths. It’s not dysfunction—it’s your inner compass calling you home.
This feeling often means you’re ready to find yourself again.
When Understanding Meets Action
If you read that pillar blog and thought, “Yes, this is exactly what I’m experiencing,” the next question becomes: what now? How do I actually begin this journey home to myself?
I remember feeling so empty over a decade ago when I was literally standing on top of Mount Kilimanjaro. I knew when I came down off that mountain that something had to change, but I didn’t know where to start. Through my own journey and years of guiding others, I’ve learned that the path forward doesn’t require having all the answers—it requires taking the first gentle step.
These three tips aren’t fixes—they’re invitations. Gentle, grounded ways to begin reconnecting with who you truly are beneath all the roles and expectations.
Tip 1: Feeling that life feels empty is an awakening, not dysfunction
The very first step is shifting how you see this experience. Our culture often pathologizes these feelings—labelling them as depression, anxiety, or “something wrong.” But what if this ache isn’t pointing to what’s broken in you, but to what’s trying to emerge?
I spent months in a therapist’s office before climbing Kilimanjaro, trying to figure out what was “wrong” with me. She couldn’t really help because this wasn’t a mental health crisis—it was an existential awakening, and I needed a different kind of support. The symptoms were real (my cortisol was high, I wasn’t sleeping well, my hormones were out of balance), but the root wasn’t chemical—it was soul-level disconnection.
When I finally understood that my body was responding to living out of alignment with my authentic self, everything shifted. The physical symptoms weren’t enemies to fight—they were messengers inviting me back to myself.
Here’s what to remember: Your nervous system is responding to the stress of not living as your true self. Your body is wise—it knows when you’re following someone else’s path instead of your own. Those sleepless nights, that restless energy, that persistent ache? They’re your inner wisdom saying, “This isn’t the life your soul came here to live.”
This reframe changes everything. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” you can ask, “What is my soul trying to tell me?”
Tip 2: Follow the Breadcrumbs and Listen Inward
The second step is learning to tune into that still, quiet voice within—the one that knows what’s true for you, even when the outer world feels overwhelming.
For me, the breadcrumb trail started with meditation. I was resistant at first, thinking it was too “woo-woo,” but my doctor recommended it for my physical symptoms. What I discovered in those first difficult five minutes wasn’t just calm—it was the shocking realization that I couldn’t even be with myself.
That epiphany became my doorway. Through meditation, I began to witness my experience rather than being caught up in the drama of it. I started to see patterns I’d never noticed, including years of self-sacrifice and resentment I’d been carrying.
Your breadcrumbs might look different. Maybe it’s journaling, walking in nature, taking a course that calls to you, or simply creating space for quiet reflection. The key is following what genuinely draws you, not what you think you “should” do.
Start here: Carve out just five minutes a day to be with yourself without distraction. No agenda, no fixing—just being. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” or “What is my heart trying to tell me?” Then listen. The answers may come as feelings, images, or quiet knowing rather than words.
Pay attention to what consistently draws your attention—books, conversations, ideas that keep showing up. These aren’t coincidences; they’re your soul leaving breadcrumbs for you to follow.
Tip 3: Expect Discomfort and Trust the Process
The third tip is perhaps the most important: understand that this journey will feel uncomfortable, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
The authentic spiritual path isn’t just light and love—it requires courage. When I began making changes in my life, like staying home when my husband traveled south instead of just going with the flow, it felt incredibly uncomfortable. I was changing patterns I’d held for decades, patterns that had kept me safe but small.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me: discomfort is not a sign you’re on the wrong path. It’s a sign you’re changing, and change—even positive change—creates turbulence. Your human self likes familiarity, even when that familiarity is squashing your soul.
I had to learn to sit with the discomfort of disappointing others when I started honoring my own truth. I had to face the resentment I’d been carrying from years of self-sacrifice. I had to feel the grief of the dreams I’d given up. None of it was comfortable, but all of it was necessary.
Remember this: When you start living more authentically, some people in your life might not understand. You might feel guilty for saying no or anxious about making different choices. This doesn’t mean you’re selfish or wrong—it means you’re growing beyond the version of yourself that others have gotten used to.
The path forward requires what I call “radical responsibility”—taking ownership of your own happiness and choices rather than blaming others or waiting for circumstances to change. This can feel scary because it means you can no longer hide behind the excuse that your life is happening to you. It takes courage to face this truth, and courage doesn’t mean the fear disappears. It means we find steadiness when fear and anxiety take hold and keep moving forward — grounding ourselves with practices that calm the body and quiet the mind so we can live from a deeper truth.
But here’s the beautiful truth: when you stop abandoning yourself to please others, you discover a reservoir of energy and vitality you forgot you had. When you start living from your soul’s truth rather than your survival patterns, life becomes an adventure rather than something to endure.
The Path Reveals Itself as You Walk It
These three tips create a foundation for the deeper work of coming home to yourself. They prepare you for what I call the 4 Keys to Inner Peace—a comprehensive framework for transformation that addresses both the science and soul of reigniting your spark for life, love and purpose.
But for now, start where you are. Trust that you don’t need to have the whole path mapped out. You just need to take the next step with curiosity and compassion for yourself.
That feeling of emptiness? It’s not pointing to what’s wrong with you, it’s pointing toward who you’re meant to become. The question isn’t whether you’ll find your way home to yourself, but how beautiful the journey will be once you begin.
You don’t have to walk this path alone. If you’re ready for personalized support from someone who understands this journey intimately, I invite you to explore my Ignite Your Spark transformational coaching program.
Your soul is calling you home. The only question is: are you ready to answer?
Hi Bev, I feel like I’ve been at a point where I felt something was missing for a while now. Certain life circumstances have come up where I’m trying to figure this out but also in need of finding a job to support myself. I’m continually hurting my job hunt progress because I don’t know what it is I want that will help me feel like I’m not missing something. Is this work that can be done while also still chugging along with a 9 to 5?
Hi Sara,
Thanks so much for the great question about whether you can do the work and still chug along with your 9 to 5. It’s such a beautiful example of how our day to day life gives us the opportunity to grow personally and spiritually. In terms of the job hunt it sounds like you have an inner knowing that you need to support yourself. What I’ve found over the years is that I’ve been in a lot of jobs that felt like something was missing and yet without having the experience from the job I wouldn’t have learned what I do want. It’s like we have to discern both what we don’t want and also what we do want. We also can’t figure out what’s “missing” until we’re in the job and/or relationship. This then provides an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. So, yes absolutely you can do the work while you’re doing your 9 to 5 job. And in fact you likely need the 9 to 5 to both support yourself AND to show you were the work needs to be. Hope that makes sense. I’m sending you energy to pursue your job hunt without the need to have it all figured out. Love, Bev.
Hi. The fact that I found your site was a clear first sign for me. It made me very emotional with mixed emotions from sad for my soul abs happy and excited to reach to my soul. I thought it was a menopause thing, that I am feeling so unsure and questioning my point of being here. I am going to try some meditation and quiet time to be kinder to my soul. Thank you.
Hi Debra,
I’m so glad that this post found you! Feeling unsure and questioning the point of being here is a significant sign that you’re shifting and being invited to “awaken” to your deeper self. That’s great that you’re going to try an inner practice, like meditation and create space for quiet time so you can connect with what wants to arise. Thank you for sharing here! Love, Bev
Hi Bev,
Beautiful articles. Would you also share some next steps in how overcome / “solve” the problem with missing meaningful relationship. I’ve grown so much over the last year and thereby outgrown all my friendships – so much that I feel mostly misunderstood or “not seen” by them anymore. (Additionally many of them are not willing to grow their selves…)
I think that is by far the hardest thing to solve in the self awareness process because it involves others.
How do you / your clients cope with the “not to be seen / not to be understood by their (entire) friend circle symptoms. For me, I miss it so much that no one “just” understands and see me… thank you ??
Hi Sabrina,
Thank you so much for your very powerful and meaningful reflection. You have described what happens for many people who are growing and evolving and getting a sense that they are outgrowing their friendships. You are definitely not alone in feeling this as I hear from people around the world about how challenging this is. There is that period of time when we feel we’ve outgrown certain relationships and yet haven’t formed new ones where we DO feel seen, understood and like we have travel companions that nourish our souls.
It is often a lonely time and there is a sense of loss and grief that goes along with lovingly letting some people go in order to create space for friendships that have yet to emerge.
The way I have coped and helped my clients to cope is by practicing self-compassion and reminding myself that new friendships are on the horizon. I also let the “Universe” know that I am ready for new people to come into my life and then let go and trust that it will happen. I also want you to know that I see you, and understand how difficult this is. You are not alone and your courage to grow is an inspiration to many!!!! Much love, Bev