Have you ever wondered if what you’re experiencing during your Dark Night of the Soul is “normal”?

When you’re in the midst of it, you feel like you’re wandering in dark woods with no visibility. You might question your sanity, wonder if you’ll ever feel like yourself again, or worry that you’re the only one going through something this intense.

After interviewing many people who’ve navigated this journey, what I call “way-showers,” I discovered 7 dark night of the soul truths that might surprise you and, more importantly, give you hope.

These aren’t theories from textbooks. These are real insights from real people who’ve walked through their own dark night and emerged transformed. Their words taught me that the Dark Night of the Soul isn’t some random experience that happens to us—it’s a spiritual process designed to awaken our true nature and develop new capacities for living.

If you’re new to understanding this journey, you might want to start with what the Dark Night of the Soul actually is and the purpose of this meaningful time. But if you’re already familiar and want to know what to expect from people who’ve been there, these seven truths that include the way-showers’ own words will help you see the bigger picture.

Dark Night Truth #1: The DNOS Wakes You Up to Misalignment

The dark night arrives when you’ve drifted too far from your soul’s authentic expression, even if your life looks successful from the outside.

“I was a sensitive person working in a left-brain environment. It just wasn’t a fit. I didn’t know what that meant. I came to the edge, knew I was cracking, and needed to change and do something different.”

“I always believed in something greater than myself, but the way I ran my life and pursued things was very success and ambition-driven. I wanted to be a scientist; I was logical, and in my head, success mattered.”

Have you noticed this too? That disconnect between who you really are and how you’ve been living?

One way-shower shared how a crisis became her awakening: “When I had the accident and was in the hospital bed, my mom called everyone I knew, and they all came to see me. I was moved and realized that what matters is people. That was a significant shift in how I saw the world. I knew then that I wanted to be a counselor and, more specifically, guide people to the light—out of the darkness and into the light.”

Dark Night Truth #2: It Changes How You Make Decisions Forever

After the dark night, you stop making decisions from your head alone. You learn to listen to a deeper wisdom.

“I see everything in my life as guided by spirit. My ego gets in the way, but when I listen to the profound place within and live in alignment, I’m guided to exactly where I need to be.”

“I’m not planning anymore about how I see my life unfolding. I’m just going to respond daily with what feels right. I profoundly understand that I must always be aligned and listen.”

This shift from forcing to flowing is one of the most profound changes people describe. Instead of willpower and strategy, you begin co-creating with something larger than yourself.

Dark Night Truth #3: There’s a Wise Way to Work With Suffering

The suffering isn’t something to escape—it’s something to move through consciously.

“The more present you can be to the experience and the suffering, the more you will get out of it as it deepens you. It feels like it just continues to free you.”

“It was so painful that I didn’t know how to get through the day. There was something in me that trusted that I would get through it and be better on the other side, and that’s exactly what happened. Looking back now, I can see it was a purification process.”

What struck me most was this insight: “My experiences with suffering have deepened my relationship with myself. A new self is born. The old self has to die. It just has to.”

The way-showers taught me that fighting the process creates more suffering. Learning to be present with it—while getting proper support—allows it to do its transformative work.

Dark Night Truth #4: You Emerge More Integrated and Peaceful

On the other side, people describe a sense of coming home to themselves that they’d never experienced before.

“I’ve felt like I’m coming home to the truth of who I am and what life is about. It’s not bells and whistles, bright light type, but rather gentle. I’ve said ‘hello’ to me that hadn’t existed—it’s a powerful and profound feeling.”

“I’m a different person. It was the shedding of my skin, and so much has changed. I always had a lot of anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, and now I don’t have the old patterns. I have a feeling of inner peace and calmness. It’s a lightness of being.”

The transformation isn’t dramatic in a flashy way—it’s deeper. As one person beautifully put it: “The DNOS shows us the true meaning of life—to know yourself and become the best version of yourself that could exist. There is only one of each of us, and it’s a lifetime of work to uncover who that is.”

Dark Night Truth #5: Your Outer World Reflects Your Inner Changes

The inner transformation inevitably impacts your relationships and work life.

“The big change was in my relationships. When this happens, you’ll get people looking at you as if you’re wearing two heads. They don’t recognize you anymore. They worry about you. They want you to change back so they’ll feel comfortable.”

“After the DNOS, so many things changed. My marriage ended, and I left my traditional healthcare job because it wasn’t fulfilling my soul.”

This can be challenging. People in your life might not understand your changes. Some relationships naturally evolve or fall away as you become more authentic. It’s part of the process, even though it can feel lonely.

Dark Night Truth #6: There’s a Push-Pull Between Old and New

During the transition, you’ll feel tension between your old patterns and your emerging self.

“If people can embrace not recreating the old, that’s the key. That’s the whole point of all of this. A life force is trying to renew. Trying to birth something new and truly life-sustaining.”

“I felt very lost. A loss of identity replaced the happy me I’d known… I had two conflicting views. One saying is to do what society expects of you; the other is to follow your soul.”

This internal tension is normal. You’re literally becoming a new version of yourself while your old identity resists change. Be patient with this process.

Dark Night Truth #7: Inner Practices Become Essential

Every way-shower emphasized how crucial it was to have practices that supported their inner journey.

“I started meditating daily, and that’s when the powerful changes started. That’s when the healing began, and my spirit could work through me because there was an opening.”

“Learning, whether it’s books, podcasts, movies, mentors, coaches, counsellors. Always learning because you’ll recognize yourself somewhere in there, get normalization, validation, and tools.”

The dark night calls us to develop new capacities, what I call the 4 Keys to Inner Peace—self-regulation, self-love, self-discovery, and self-expression. Having practices and support makes all the difference.

A Message of Hope

If you’re in the midst of your own dark night, I want you to hear this final message from one of the way-showers:

“You need to trust that there’s a greater plan for you. You don’t have the foresight or knowledge to anticipate and need to trust. That you are always held, you won’t be okay; you’ll be better than okay.”

You’re not broken. You’re not alone. You’re in a process that thousands of others have navigated before you. Trust the process, get support, and know that what feels like an ending is actually preparing you for a beginning you can’t yet imagine.

The dark night of the soul is challenging, but it’s also sacred. These way-showers showed me that it’s ultimately about coming home to the truth of who you are—and that journey, difficult as it is, leads to a life more authentic and meaningful than you thought possible.

In the following interview, I speak with one of the way-showers, Angela Grace, about her experience with the dark night of the soul. Angela is a psychologist, and I love how she shares so vulnerably about her journey.