What Is the Purpose of the Dark Night of the Soul—And What It Means for You?

The Dark Night of the Soul (DNOS) is more than just a period of struggle—it is an invitation to transformation. It signals a profound transition, one that unravels our conditioned self, revealing the deeper truth of who we are beneath our roles, beliefs, and unconscious patterns.

This journey is often misunderstood as a spiritual crisis or even depression in the traditional sense, but at its core, it is a call to realign—to let go of outdated ways of being and step into greater authenticity, purpose, and inner peace.

The phrase “dark night of the soul” was first used by John of the Cross, a Spanish mystic and poet from the 16th century. It has since become a metaphor for the spiritual process of transformation.

Dr. Zinia Pritchard, a Contemplative Practice Theologian, beautifully described the DNOS as:

a spiritual process where the seed of life is buried within the soil of suffering.

Like a seed in the dark, something new is quietly taking root within us, and it’s the suffering that fuels the energy needed for the transformation to occur.

The Experience of the Dark Night of The Soul

The DNOS is often accompanied by inner turmoil, confusion, and a deep sense of loss.

The DNOS isn’t something we choose; rather, it’s a powerful reminder that nature operates with divine timing, and so does the DNOS. It unfolds when the time is right, often when we are ready to transition into a new way of being where we navigate life differently.

Those who experience the DNOS are often “old souls,” called to leave behind ego-driven ways of living and embrace a path guided by the soul.

This journey requires healing and integrating our pasts, creating peace in the present, and aligning our lives with our soul’s wisdom rather than our ego-driven personalities.

Ultimately, it is about coming into the right relationship with both our personality and soul, allowing the personality to become an instrument for our soul’s expression.

The Liminal Space

During the DNOS, we find ourselves in a liminal space—caught between no longer and not yet. The old self feels distant and irrelevant, while the new self has not yet fully emerged.

This transition can feel like an emotional and spiritual freefall, leading us to question everything we once believed to be true.

Gerald G. May, a psychiatrist and spiritual counselor, described this beautifully in The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth:

There are moments of dawning awareness, little cracks in our armor that reveal glimpses of our deeper longing and true nature. Things that gave us pleasure in the past may now seem empty.

This in-between phase can feel unbearable because our personality structure craves certainty, yet the DNOS invites surrender into the unknown.

A Soul-Orchestrated Intervention

The DNOS is not random—it is a soul intervention. It occurs when we have drifted too far from our true nature, living according to conditioned expectations rather than the truth of who we are.

This deeply meaningful transition can be triggered by many things—a slow drifting away from our true selves (what I call disconnection stress), a major life crisis, or a deep inner realization that the way we’ve been living no longer feels aligned. Whether it comes suddenly or gradually, it serves as a wake-up call, urging us to reconnect with our deeper truth.

For me, this process began as a deep, unexplained emptiness, even though my life checked all the right boxes. I had what many would consider an ideal existence, yet inside, something felt profoundly off.

This sense of feeling lost, confused, and stuck led me to retreat into a cocoon, shedding the conditioned layers that had kept me safe but had also suffocated my soul.

This painful yet necessary process required that I gain some new tools, such as meditation, mindfulness, and various other practices that enabled me to redirect my energy inward and truly understand who I was beyond all the roles that had defined me. It forced me to slow down, regulate my nervous system, and truly listen—something I had unknowingly avoided for years and didn’t know how to do.

For me, it was a turning point—a moment when I could no longer live unconsciously, going through the motions of a life that looked fine on the outside but felt empty within. It was here that my perspective shifted, revealing a path beyond conditioned beliefs. This experience set me on a deeply spiritual—not religious—journey, one that invited me to live not just as a human, but as a spiritual being having a human experience.

A DNOS as Rebirth

The DNOS is ultimately about rebirth—letting go of the old self and stepping into alignment with our soul’s truth.

As James Hollis, Ph.D., wrote in Living an Examined Life: Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey:

There is no going forward without a death of some kind: a death of who we thought we were and were supposed to be; a death of a map of the world we thought worthy of our trust and investment… But life has other plans; indeed, our own souls have other plans.

The DNOS, though painful, is ultimately a soul-led intervention guiding us toward integration and wholeness.

If we emerge from this passage without inner transformation, we risk falling back into the same patterns that caused our disconnection in the first place.

But if we use the experience as fertilizer for our own growth and evolution, we arrive at a place where our personality no longer eclipses our soul but becomes a vessel for its expression. This alignment allows us to live with greater vitality, connection and meaning.

Moving Forward

If you are experiencing the Dark Night of the Soul, know this: You are not broken. You are awakening.

It is okay to feel lost, but you don’t have to navigate this alone. The DNOS is not just about enduring suffering—it is about learning how to reconnect with yourself in a new way.

I offer compassionate guidance that honors where you are while supporting where you’re called to go. If you’re ready to explore this journey with a guide who understands, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation.

In the following interview, I speak with Dr. Angela Grace, a registered psychologist and holistic healer, about integrating spirituality and psychology and her journey through the dark night of the soul.

Let’s chat in the comments. Our community would love to hear from you!

(Original post, May 25, 2020; Updated post, February, 2025)