Why Do I Feel Like Something Is Missing—And What To Do About It?
I know this feeling intimately and have spent the last decade trying to get to the root of what it means—and, more importantly, what we can do about this nagging sense that something is missing in our lives. In my work, I call this soul hunger—a deep, often unspoken yearning for meaning, purpose, and connection.
After travelling this path myself and hearing from others of all ages around the world (see all the comments below) who have also experienced this deep ache inside, I’ve begun to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
The Search for Answers
I began feeling this mysterious and strange soul hunger at a time in my life when I was living the dream. I had retired from a long and fulfilling career as a nurse, launched my kids, and was travelling the world on all sorts of adventures. This freedom felt wonderful… for a while. Then, it didn’t anymore.
I sought help everywhere I could think of. A therapist listened but seemed as confused as I was—after all, I had “so much to be grateful for.” My doctor suggested depression and offered antidepressants. While I had nothing against medication, my inner wisdom knew this wasn’t the answer.
Looking back, my inner wisdom was right. All the well-meaning, trained professionals couldn’t understand it, and I didn’t have the words for what I was experiencing.
What This Feeling That Something Is Missing Is Trying to Tell You
So what’s actually happening when we feel something is missing? Why does life look fine on the outside but feel empty inside?
Maybe you feel exhausted no matter how much you rest. Maybe your relationships feel draining instead of nourishing. Or perhaps you keep asking yourself, ‘Why can’t I just be happy?’
This soul hunger that feels like something is missing is the inner tension that arises when we’ve drifted too far from our true selves and are disconnected from our purpose and the people around us.
Even when everything looks ‘fine’ on the outside, disconnection stress can manifest as that nagging sense that something is missing—despite having ‘so much to be grateful for.’
We all know what acute and chronic stress are, but the disconnection stress that causes soul hunger is something different. It’s not just about feeling overwhelmed; it’s a sign that we are living out of alignment with our deeper nature. I explore soul hunger and other other symtpoms in further detail in The Call of Your Soul Hunger: 10 Signs Your Soul is Speaking to You.
To understand why we may be feeling like something is missing, we need to recognize that two forces shape our lives—our personality and our soul. The feeling that something is missing can stem from either one, and uncovering the root cause is key to finding the peace we seek.
The Two Forces at Play: The Personality and Soul
Our personality, often unconsciously, governs much of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s shaped by our past, rooted in fear, and built for survival. It wants us to be accepted, to feel secure, and to avoid discomfort. This is why it drives us toward external markers of success—achievements, approval, productivity, or people-pleasing—thinking they will bring us peace.
Our soul, on the other hand, is not concerned with success, fitting in, or avoiding discomfort. It is the part of us that longs for truth, authenticity, and deep fulfillment. It seeks growth, meaning, and connection.
Think of your personality as the part of you that learned to adapt to the world—to be liked, to be safe, to be successful. But sometimes, that part of you drowns out the voice of your soul—the part that knows what truly brings you peace and fulfillment.
Many of us get stuck in unconscious personality habits that reinforce disconnection. For me, it was going with the flow, avoiding conflict, and minimizing my own desires. For others, it might be:
- Perfectionism – Always trying to “get it right” but never feeling enough.
- People-pleasing – Saying yes when you want to say no.
- Achievement-driven busyness – Constantly chasing success but feeling empty inside.
We fall into these patterns because they have kept us safe in the past. But they also keep us from hearing the soul’s deeper call for living a more fulfilled life.
The Three Elements of a Fulfilling Life
Both modern research and ancient wisdom point to three core elements that make life feel meaningful:
Vitality (Energy) – Feeling alive, healthy, and engaged.
Connection (Relationships) – Meaningful bonds with others and ourselves.
Purpose (Fulfillment) – A sense of meaning in what we do.
These are not just things that “would be nice” to have. They are what our soul needs to thrive.
When any of these are missing, we feel the ache of disconnection.
But is the ache coming from your personality or your soul?
If it’s from the personality, it will feel like never enough. More success, more connection, more health—yet still feeling unsatisfied.
If it’s from the soul, it’s an invitation. A call to wake up, grow, and reconnect with who you truly are.
The Journey from Something Missing to Something Meaningful
Regulating our nervous systems (because disconnection stress impacts our health) and recognizing our unconscious personality patterns is the place to start in alleviating the feeling that something is missing.
For me, I saw how avoiding conflict had led to disconnection in my relationships and how neglecting my deeper values for living a meaningful and purposeful life stifled my life force energy.
Breaking free from feeling that inner ache meant finding my voice, embracing the discomfort of conflict, and stepping into a life that felt purposeful.
For you, the patterns may be different—but the process of awakening to them and making intentional changes is the same.
An Invitation To Continue Your Journey
I offer 1-1 coaching for those seeking personalized support, practical tools and soulful guidance to move from stress and disconnection to living a vibrant, connected and meaningful life.
Schedule a free consultation—and start your journey toward authentic happiness.
As I’m going through puberty I feel like I can’t be me and no one understanding what I’m going through reading this article help me realized what’s missing in my life… and its all 3 of your options thanks for the article bev
Hi Evan,
I’m so glad to hear that this article left you knowing that you’re not alone and with a little more clarity about what might be missing. Love, Bev
I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I feel like something deep within me is missing. Maybe I was suppose to be something or do something. My thing is how do you look deep within yourself? I don’t know if you can “truly” find yourself. I’m newly 30 maybe I’m depressed at where my life is and my souls questioning it. Im annoyed not knowing but that’s life I guess.
Hi Mandy,
Thanks so much for asking such a great question about how to look deep within yourself. You are very wise in wondering if you can truly find yourself! That’s a very powerful reflection. I also want to acknowledge that feeling like something is missing is one of our most common human experiences.
I’m going to share what has been helpful for me in terms of discerning what that means.
The feeling that something is missing can arise from 2 different energies inside us. One energy is the energy of our conditioned personality that will always feel like something is missing. The other energy is the energy of our true self (soul) and is a sign of the need to change our lives.
How do we discern the difference?
The Enneagram of personality is a valuable tool because it shines a light on who we are not (our personality with one of the 9 types always focusing on what’s missing) and a roadmap for returning to our true selves (who we are). We need to see both like we need to know light to know dark or up to know down. We need to learn who we are not, to discover who we actually are.
If you haven’t already, perhaps consider exploring your Enneagram number to further understand and “find” yourself and the next steps in your personal growth. It may help to discern if the feeling that something is missing arises from your personality or your soul. Much love, Bev.
Thanks for sharing this article with me-it sums up exactly how I feel right now, and have for the past 18 months. Yesterday, my daughter asked me how I was since one of my hens died. While I was, and still am, upset, the hurt I feel now is tenfold what I felt when I lost pets before. There has never been a time in my life when I have felt more connected to my animals. It’s a pleasant, yet strange feeling. Afterward, I explained to her that I feel something is missing in my life, but I can’t pinpoint what it is. It’s so frustrating. I haven’t been in a relationship since I divorced her mother eight years ago, so she thought that might just be what I needed now. I know instinctively that’s not what I need, or want. My animals and my own company make me happy in that department. My reading in the last few years has focused on literature related to the soul, such as Michael Newton and Dolares Canyon. I am obviously seeking a deeper understanding of life and its journey. One of the things I love is lying in my hammock in the garden and soaking up nature’s sounds. I love the sounds of birds in the trees, their mating calls, clucks of chickens, and the tranquility of the place. But I don’t feel close enough to it all. It’s like I need to embrace it, be part of it. There is no easy way to explain it. I know I’m missing something, something that stares me in the face. I just wish I knew what it was, but I’m glad I’m not alone.
Hi Abe,
Thanks so much for sharing with us here! You are not alone. I just finished doing a talk about “soul hunger” and feel called to share it here after reading your post. As you say, it’s difficult to explain. Love, Bev.
Hello, thank you for this article. I’ve been feeling so disconnected from everyone and everything. I feel like life just hasn’t been the same since I’ve recently tore my Achilles playing flag football October 2021. On my off days I also wish I had something or someone when knowing it might not make me feel any better. I was so in love with football and now that I haven’t touched the field since 2021 but is working out every week with a trainer and professional stretcher now I still don’t feel that spark. Life just feels pointless sometimes. But I am still pushing because I feel something greater will happen for me.
Hi Eaijsha,
Thanks for sharing with us here, and I’m sorry about your injury. As I read what you shared, I was reminded of a similar experience that a young man I interviewed recently shared in the blog Uncovering Meaning And Purpose Through Your Struggles.
Alec shared how he found a deeper sense of purpose through the pain of his injury in his teenage years. I hope it inspires you and validates your sense that something greater will happen for you! Love, Bev.
I don’t know if it’s a gift or a fault. But it’s hard to live like this. I feel very disconnected with rest of the world.
I have been like this for as long as I can remember.
There is no cure to how I feel.
I always feel that I am being who I am not.
I don’t have a self of my own. I’m always playing a role.
Hi Bev, I am feeling this way and have been for about 6 months now. I left a violent relationship and told myself I was moving to Australia (from the UK where I am from and live).
I went over there for 6 weeks and things didn’t work out with my job and accommodation, I was a mess emotionally with what I had previously dealt with.
So now I am back home in the UK and have been for 6 months, just feeling SO unhappy with my life, like I’ve left a piece of my heart in Australia and my body and soul are longing to get back there to feel complete.
I really do not know how I will ever feel happy in my life. Yet I have so much to be grateful for. A good paying job, my family, my dog who I adore and do not know how I’d leave him again.
Yet here we are, searching on google ‘why am I so unhappy and feel something is missing in my life’.
I’m looking for answers in all the wrong places it seems however I am not sure how I can move forward with these feelings.
Hi Jayne,
It sounds like you’ve experienced many changes in the last while – from leaving a challenging relationship to a move that didn’t work out! That is a lot, and my heart goes out to you. I also want to acknowledge your courage to leave a relationship and make such a big move!
This is a time to pause to heal what needs to be healed and get to know yourself at a deeper level. Your inner wisdom is letting you know that, as you say, you’re “looking for answers in all the wrong places.” I sense that you’re at a threshold and are meant to let go of the old, familiar ways of being to create space for the new to emerge. Thank you for sharing with us here! Much love, Bev.
Jayne, I also left a violent relationship a couple of years ago. With my son’s father. Of course I left with my son. Ever since, I’ve just been trying to figure out what now? I just turned 40 a few days ago. I’m terrified. I thought I knew who I was and where my life was going. But I was also so unhappy playing the role of his wife with no ring. He had a drug problem. There was no affection outside of sex. No connection. He didn’t see me and I allowed myself to fade just so it would work. I am so angry at myself for allowing that for 8 years. I promised myself as a little girl that I would never stay with a man who put his hands on me. As I witnessed it between my mother and stepfather. I am also currently having to heal trauma and go back through the anger and feelings I had as a child from seeing it. Becoming a DV victim brought back memories that I thought I had dealt with. I forgot I was a victim twice. So on top of everything else and all the confusion and fear, I am also healing trauma. I know that I made the right choice by leaving, I know it was right for me. But I am scared because everything I knew for 8 years was wrong. It is getting easier and easier to just trust the process and have faith that there is a reason for all of this. The crazy thing is, I remember early on in our relationship, laying in bed with him and hearing a strange whisper from inside myself say “ this isn’t you” I will never forget it. We got this!!! We are brave!! Change is hard and scary! But we are worth better relationships and real love. We will understand one day!! I couldn’t change what happened in the past or the fact that my mother chose to stay even though it was causing me crippling anxiety. But I can change my present and my sons future. I never felt like I belonged in my family. Still considering cutting them off. I’m just going to spend time in between becoming my true self, breathing and healing and changing for the better. We have to keep the faith!
This article is bang on. I have had this feeling for a while now I’m 49 with all the worldly successes but there’s always that gnawing feeling of something is amiss. It’s almost painful at times to even think of starting my day and repeat my every day life all over again. I’m happy to see I’m not the only one.
I’m so glad that you know you’re not the only one! Love, Bev.
Hi Bev, Glad to know that I’m not the only one to feel like this for a while i thought it was me just being selfish and taking everything for granted, I’m 18 years old and in college I have good grades a great job and have a great family and a good bond with them but I feel like something is missing, I tried talking to my friends about it and they just don’t get it instead they criticized me and said i was ungrateful and that i’m just overthinking, with my family yeah i have i great bond with them but i feel like i can’t talk to them about these stuff with them because they wouldn’t understand and think something is wrong with me, I started feeling like this after i found out my ex got with someone. It’s hard to explain because it’s not that I’m sad about him being with someone else but the fact that their partner is getting everything i had to beg for. Even with my friends when we were all in high school we were all so close but when we graduated they stopped talking to me but when they do talk to me it’s because they need something. I hate the feeling of thinking i’m not good enough or that i need someone just to feel valued and feel happy. I started working out and lost weight, started studying more and my grades are amazing now my parents are proud of me for once but why do i still feel like that i try to ignore it but them more i try the more i feel like that and working out constantly isn’t helping out no more and doing good in school is getting easier so i have no more distractions. Am i overthinking? Am i taking everything for granted? Am i selfish for feeling like this for not being satisfied with what i have and accomplished?
Hi Evelyn,
I’m SO glad that you realized from reading this article and the comments that you’re not alone! You are definitely not selfish or taking things for granted as you so beautifully shared about the things that you’re grateful for. My sense is that what you referred to as “overthinking” is related to trying to make sense of and create meaning around why you’re feeling the way you are. I too went through that and it’s why I wrote the article. I was SO confused! So, no I really don’t think you’re overthinking! I have a question for you… do you view yourself as “spiritual”? I’m really curious about this because I’m trying to understand the root cause of why so many are feeling this way. For me, the feeling didn’t arise until I was around 50, but I’m hearing more and more from young folks like yourself and it’s got me thinking/reflecting again. I may start a little research project to see if we can get more clarity around this. In the meantime, you are not alone and I have a sense you are “awakening” as a spiritual being having a human experience. Thank you for sharing with us! Much love, Bev.
Hi there,
Everything you’ve written brought me to tears.
I’m in a 5 year relationship, we have two toddlers and it’s a love and life I never thought I’d have a chance of having in this life. He’s amazing, my children are amazing..
Now I have it, yet since meditating and doing manifesting techniques I can’t help but feel daily somethings missing and it’s starting to turn into frustration.
I’m at a loss, I’d love to hear back from you. My family needs help.
Thanks for reading
Hi there!
I want to congratulate you for meditating and practicing manifestation techniques. It’s so common that when we begin meditating and paying attention that things bubble to the surface. The first step when we feel something’s missing is to develop a better understanding of ourselves. Something missing can be arising from our ego/personality and it won’t matter what we do or change we’ll never feel satisfied. Do you happen to know your Enneagram (personality) type? If you don’t, it may be a good place to start in terms of getting to the root of what’s missing and where it’s arising from. Much love, Bev
Hi Bev,
You’re words are on point. These are the exact questions I ask myself every day. I know something is lacking and currently I am at university but I am lacking motivation and strenght to go and do tasks that are related to that. When my awakening began in 2019 I thought at first that I need to find something that I’d do with passion and of service to other beings so I signed up for Teaching faculty, but now after 2,3 years I don’t feel that it defines me and makes me happy in any way. Last year I started to feel this deeper soul ache, yearning, hunger than ever before and I feel that I am at the crossroad. I don’t know what to do because I am so afraid of letting go of future career and university (friends, family, old place of living) and go into the unknown (nature, art, stillness). I feel that calling to go somewhere but I do not know why or where. I am paralised and stuck. Is this normal? What can I do?
Thank you so much in advance.
Hi Zrinka,
I hope you have a sense from reading all the comments from people around the world, that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling as you try and make sense of what all this means for you. It is definitely very normal and yet I also know that it doesn’t make it easy.
The challenge for many younger folks is that they’re feeling the inner need (which is a healthy urge) to have a career or way to support themselves as they take responsibility for their lives and become independently functioning adults. At the same time, young adults are “waking up” and trying to understand these different energies. I believe it was Ken Wilbur who spoke about “waking up and growing up.” Meaning we have the part that needs to care about our education, making a living, and paying the bills and we have the part of us that’s seeking deeper meaning, purpose, connection etc.
Have you tried journaling or talking with a friend/counsellor about how you’re feeling and what your next step might be? Ask the universe to show you or give you a sign and then be patient for the answer. Much love, Bev
Wow this is an amazing article for me this is how I feel. I just broke up with my ex and she was so amazing but I feel like I couldn’t find myself no matter how much I tried which stop me from loving. I am 22 years old I went through a depression when I was 19 years old and ever since then I been trying to find my way my confidence I one had even though god has blessed me so much I got a brand new truck , good paying salary superintendent job which I am so thank ful for but I still don’t feel complete.
Hi Oscar,
Thank you for sharing with us here! I’m glad you’ve realized that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling. Many folks find it difficult to find themselves and when we’re disconnected from our deeper, truer self that also blocks us from a deeper, truer love – even when we have a lot to be grateful for. In terms of feeling “complete”, I have found the combination of meditation and the Enneagram of personality to be super helpful. You can read why these 2 are what I call the “dream team” for awakening in this post: https://bevjanisch.com/spiritual-awakening/.
You’re on the right path! Love, Bev
Im 45, have a family that i love, a home, a job and friends. But i still fell restless, i still dont know what this world needs from me, time has slipped by and im feeling its to late to reach for my calling, whatever that is.. feeling so lost, i was to go do these things that are so far out of reach, and i feel like im out of time.
I should be happy, i have so much.. but i still feel this unknown pain..
Its a great article, but i still don’t know what to do..
Hi Draxon,
Thank you so much for sharing with us here! I know others will be able to relate to what you’ve shared. I just have to say that it’s never too late to reach for your calling and you’re not out of time. The truth is that it’s SO common to not begin asking these types of questions until midlife. My deeper calling didn’t begin revealing itself to me until I was in my 50’s. It sounds like you have things you’d like to do, but they feel out of reach. Living into our calling is often about managing and working with our fears. Please email me directly ([email protected]) if you’d like 1-1 coaching and guidance to reveal what this “unknown pain” is trying to reveal to you! Much love, Bev.
Wow what a wonderful article!! I’m 24 years old, married, bought a huge house, go on vacations all the time, have a great career, 2 doggy’s that I adore, I have friends and family around me all the time…. But I feel as though I’ve lost myself. I have no clue who I’d be without all these things, I don’t even know what makes me genuinely happy. I don’t have any hobbies or “beliefs”. I can’t talk to anyone about it because just like your article said, everyone sees my life as perfect and wouldn’t understand. I need help soul searching, I need to find myself again but don’t know how.
Hi Alyssa,
Thanks so much for sharing with us here! What a bright light you are at 24 with so much courage to ask really important questions! You are definitely not alone in feeling the need to find yourself and know who you are. I have travelled that path and am always honoured to guide others on their soul-searching journey. Please reach out to me if you’re looking for a guide. Much love, Bev.
I’m relieved to know I’m not alone. I often felt I was going through a mental breakdown. Many nights I stare at the moon, the sky and I daydream. I also dream alot, many of which have meanings. I keep many of my thoughts to myself because I don’t feel people in my life would understand. I naturally a loner and I have very strong intuitions. I feel other people energy and I know if the person is genuine or fake. It’s really unexplainable. I’m thankful for life and for the people who love me but I often feel disconnected and like something is missing. I pray for guidance, peace and understanding.
Hi Shanda,
I’m SO thankful to hear that you’re relieved to know that you’re not alone. Your gifts of intuition and reading other people will serve you well! I’m sure your prayers for guidance, peace and understanding will be answered. Much love, Bev
My school is over,
I thought i would do and learn a lot of things but now my all enthusiasm is gone.i was a talkative and happy child and honest i mean real honest that it hurted people because i was honest.so,i am trying to adopt a different personality which is less talkative,work oriented and focused.yet still i feel like something is missing.i have everything to work towards my goal:-time,spirit,compassion,resources and opportunities.Yet still,i feel like something major is missing and if only i could that part of mine.i might be good to go.
Hi Rishi,
Thank you so much for being a brave soul and sharing with us here! I as well as I’m sure others are inspired by your willingness to get curious about ways in which you can grow.
I want to share my perspective about your desire to adopt a different personality in the event that it may be helpful for you. I’ve found through my work with the Enneagram of personality and soul that we’re not able or meant to adopt a different personality. Our personality is however the reason why many of us feel like something is missing and then look to fill the void from the outside. Even though we go through this life with one primary personality, the Enneagram does provide a map for self-understanding as well as a path for ways to grow in love, peace, compassion, joy, courage, wisdom, etc. It gives us a way to become more integrated and when we do the feeling that something is missing is replaced with a deep inner knowing of who we are (beyond the personality) and why we’re here (our unique contribution). Much love, Bev
Hi bev! How can I reach out to you
Please feel free to email me at [email protected].
Hi,
Glad someone can understand me when my own parents don’t. I didn’t think that there are other people too who feel this way i thought only I felt this. But I’m still little confused as to how to overcome this feeling. I started to feel this way 2-3 years ago before then I was living kinda good life. But I’m also wondering that why is this happening to me as I’m just a 15 years old teenager. Any clarification on this ?
Anyways, great and helpful article
Thank you so much.
Hi John,
I’m SO glad to hear that reading this article left you knowing that you’re not alone and that many people are experiencing this same feeling. I’ve found it helpful to view this feeling as something to understand rather than something to overcome. What is this feeling trying to tell me? The root issue is that we’re disconnected from our true selves and so we feel like something is missing. The fact that you’re experiencing this at 15 means that you’re an old soul and I expect you will one day be a guide for others. It truly is an invitation to begin to understand the difference between your conditioned self and your true self. I always recommend that people start with a basic core meditation practice (you can see the blog on my website about how to do that). Thank you for sharing with us here and much love! Bev
I always have that feeling of missing something, something bigger than just like what the normal people are doing ang enjoying from I was 36 years old.
Sometimes, I wakes up at night time and cry without reasons.
Hi Helen,
This feeling of something missing, something bigger is an impulse arising from your soul. There is a great deal of wisdom in your tears and they are messengers from your deeper self. Please look within and listen. You’re not alone! Love. Bev.
I have really been struggling lately with the feeling that something is missing from my life. You hit the nail on the head, I feel grateful for the life I have but cant neglect this feeling. Could you recommend some reading materials to help dig into this deeper?
Such a great article, so glad I found it.
Hi Julia,
Thanks so much for leaving a comment and letting us know that this article resonated with you! As you can see you’re not alone. In terms of further reading, I wrote the book, Awakening a Woman’s Soul: The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness to Transform Your Life to share more deeply about it. You can learn about my book here:
https://bevjanisch.com/books/awakening-a-womans-soul/
I also coach clients 1-1 if you’re needing more personalized support. Feel free to email me at [email protected] if you’d like to explore whether that’s a fit for you.
Love, Bev
Hi. The fact is well explained, but not easy to get thru or divert to a more meaningful life.
So very true!!! Living a more meaningful life requires that we find the golden thread that has been woven into our lives. It also really varies depending on the stage we’re at. Love, Bev
This is what actually happening to me.
In india people used to connected, they still do but they are loosing what was there for them as gift.
The reason i could blame is poverty.
We are trying to grow but it has it’s cost. Well awareness and seeking sense is well rooted in india, in ourselves and we may find a balance.
For me also, I have to pay my bill, so I have stuck in this prison world.
A very good article
Thanks
Hi Ravi,
Thanks for sharing with us here! So very true with all the suffering in the world how challenging it is to walk this path and balance our dual nature. Love, Bev
Hi Ravi, I completely agree with you as I have been feeling the same. We were brought up in a very closely-knitted family structure including not only family members but friends, neighbors as well, more of an extended family. I didn’t value and understand it until I moved overseas and started staying by myself.
Bev’s article shows me a direction to introspection and hopefully I may find ways to deal with it.
Hi bev, There been a lot of trauma inside my life since I was 6 years old. I’m 10 right now in a month ill be 11 years old it started when I made a big mistake ever since I’ve had evil spirits attached. When I turned 8 I was transferred to my dads house. And just to let you no my step mother is very strict about god I made many mistakes I couldn’t even keep god on my side for a day. I’ve prayed and prayed and all I do Fall back down. I don’t know why. But I think there might be a cause. When I was born my biological mother was staying with a women and she was a witch and did witch craft so maybe she caused my bad luck… All I’m saying is I wanna find who and which side I Belong to. Oh and don’t think in crazy… But I’ve had connections to the so called Angel Of Darkness I don’t know why but when I listen to this song which is called Angel of darkness its fills in the part of me that missing.
Hi Emmaleigh,
It’s really beautiful that you’ve shared with us here! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a lot of trauma in your young life. One thing I believe to be true is that God, the Universe, Divine or whatever we call that force that is bigger than us is love. I really believe that this life force loves us not because we are “perfect” and don’t make mistakes but because we are imperfect and make mistakes. You’re not alone and we all fall back down and in those moments it’s so important to know we’re loved and we can learn from our mistakes and get back up. I fall down all the time and in those moments I forgive myself, love myself and practice self-kindness. The more we do that the more love grows inside of us rather than fear. Much love to you, Bev.
Hi Bev,
You’re words are on point. These are the exact questions I ask myself every day. I know something is lacking and I want to live as a spiritual being as well. I hope you can teach me how.
Hi Bev. This is very out of my
Comfort zone as I was raised to be very independent and to know that reaching out was largely a sign of weakness. I’m only 22 and I, like you said, have SO much to be grateful for. Aside from COVID-19 I feel I am at the precipice of a really important and transformative time in my life but I feel so lost at where to begin. I would love to send you an email as I feel like I don’t really have anyone else to reach out to right now.
Hi Matilda,
Thanks for reaching out and finding the courage to step beyond your comfort zone! It’s when we move into that space that feels uncomfortable that things begin to shift in the most mysterious ways. Reaching out is a sign of strength and you’re inspiring many of us by doing that.
Yes, please do listen to that inner knowing that this is a transformative time for you. I’d love to hear from you at [email protected] and explore how I can best support you! Love, Bev
My life has been traumatised by abandonment over and over again. One month a go I lost my soul mate and best friend. In the outside I function but on the inside I am sad most and feel I have lost a part of myself.
I don’t know what do with these inner losses or even where to put them.
A psychologist is out of my budget as I am a 62 year old Australian woman who feels like I just shouldn’t be here. I hope you can help me with this puzzle. Thank you
Dear Diane,
I am SO sorry to hear about the loss of your soul mate and best friend. What a deeply painful time for you. You are not alone in not knowing what to do with your inner losses. My heart really goes out to you and I know others reading this will also be sending you love and will resonate very profoundly with what you’ve shared.
This very painful loss is an invitation to show yourself a deep sense of self-compassion and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. This may be a time that you’re meant to ask God, the Universe, or whatever you pray to for guidance and ask that you receive the support that you need. I too will send out a prayer that you receive the love and necessary support. So much love to you! Bev
Hello Bev, am Stephanie a nineteen year old from Zambia,i have been feeling so empty inside for the past few months,to the point i felt life was just so meaningless but when i came across your blog while trying to search for,”what it means when you feel like your life is missing something?” my entire perspective changed and i’m so grateful to have come across your article,right now i feel some sense of relife to see that am not the only one going through what i thought and called ” a bad spirit” and seeing that it’s far from it and just means that my soul is trying to come through to me is yet another relife and i have strong belief that with all your guidance in the article i will be able to recandle what i feel was turned off in me, am so humbled…God bless you
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for sharing how reading this post helped you to shift your perspective about what this sense that something is missing is all about. It’s very powerful that you now see it as your soul giving you messages rather than “a bad spirit.” Our soul expands every time we create meaning in our lives and I’m humbled that my own journey has helped you to do this. Much love to you, Bev
Hi Bev, glad I found this article. I am so confused. I should be grateful and I am grateful as I have many many wonderful things in my life. I am 67 years old and have two wonderful children and five grandchildren that I cherish. I felt I had to leave an 18 year common law relationship when I was 64 years old due to his cheating, lying, violent temper. I thought this would make me happier but I just feel empty, like I have lost my way, a lost soul. I know covid has affected me and everyone but I have felt like this off and on my entire life. It’s like I am searching for something or someone but I don’t know what or who. There are so many things I could say but I could actually write a book and I know this is for commenting only. Even though you don’t know my whole story, can you help me out please and maybe give me some insight as to why I feel like this? Thank you Bev!
Hi Cher,
I’m also really glad that you found the article. Coincidences are such a powerful sign that you’re on the right track. I can really relate to what you described about being grateful and yet something is still missing…
That sense of “searching for something or someone but don’t know what or who” is often the first sign of spiritual awakening. I don’t know where you are on your path but it is an invitation to go “deeper” within yourself. We often search outside ourselves to other people, jobs, money etc. and yet there comes a time when the soul is saturated with material living that it beckons us to embark on the inner journey.
My inner journey began with meditation and that provided a way to slowly come home to my true self. Through meditation, I began to see the parts of myself that needed healing – like relationships from the past that were impacting me because there were unresolved issues. As I gained awareness I reached out to those that could help me grow and integrate my lessons so that I could move forward.
You may find reading my book helpful, “Awakening a Woman’s Soul” which describes in detail the journey of coming “home” to ourselves when we feel something is missing. Much love to you, Bev
Thanks for the article. My name is Eve and I’m 19 yrars old. I personally feel disconnected from society, just like your article when things started to change and people started to move on with their lives, I started to feel different, I felt for longing for something or someone. I tried getting it from my boyfriend but at the end I still wasn’t satisfied. I tried so much to fit my life into his, tried to please him and lost my focus on God and was too focused on him. One day I just broke down in tears the whole day and I knew something was wrong. That’s when I knew God wasn’t in my life, I wasn’t doing what I love and I asked myself one question am I happy? That day I realized I’m not. In the process of being a perfect girlfriend I lost myself, I don’t even know what I’m passionate about or my interests. I used to know what I wanted out in life, I had dreams, I was confident and loved myself. Now I feel insecure, doubful of my choices and forcing everything. I’m just working in school for the sake to please my parents. I’m not sure if it’s all in my head but I feel like I’m pushing everyone away from me. I’m not communicating like I used too, but in public I tend to pretend everything is okay even in front of my family. Not sure what to do with my life.
Hi Eve,
Thank you for sharing your deep insights with us! You described so beautifully what so many of us are experiencing – a sense of disconnect from our true selves. By asking the question about what was standing in the way of your happiness, it sounds like you got a clear answer. That you lost yourself and your own dreams, passions and interests. You are definitely not alone and I too have experienced that. When we do things to please others or to try and be as you say the “perfect girlfriend” or what we feel our parents want us to be, we’re not honoring our authentic selves. In meditation I love asking the questions, “What is my heart’s desire; How can I best love myself; Who am I.” When we ask the questions we open ourselves up to receive the answers. They may come in the form of books, teachers, counselors, dreams, coincidences, messages or any number of ways that point to what our next step might be. When I felt I was pushing people away it was really about coming home to myself so I could re-engage from a more authentic place. Sometimes we can be so focused on others that we lose touch with ourselves. You are a wise soul and I know the answers will come to you. Much love, Bev
Hello bev, I feel that the universe wanted me to find this article, I can relate to every single thing you wrote in this article I’m so thankful for the article you wrote
Hi Rud,
I’m so glad the article found you!!! Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment. Much love, Bev
Hi bev,
Wow what a wonderful article to read. I resonated so deeply with it all. Last night I googled ” feeling like a lost soul” and this article appeared. I think the comforting thing is reading the comments and realising I’m not alone.
In my case, I’ve felt completely lost my whole life. I’m now 37 and still feel the way I did when I was 18. I can find that sweet spot when I meditate but I can’t seem to hold on to it. I do know what my soul is asking from me (at least I think I do) but I have trouble following it. I dream of living in the mountains somewhere too but because I live in extreme humidity in the tropics, I am miserable because I am not in my dream place. Anyways that is my little story. Thank you again x
Hi Casey,
Thanks so much for sharing how you stumbled upon this article. I always love when the Universe gifts us with the right message at the right time!
I’m so glad that you’re realizing that you’re not alone. I can really sense how challenging it is for you to have a feeling that your soul is asking something of you and you can’t seem to follow it. I wonder if exploring that resistance at a deeper level might reveal some insights that may help you either move forward or find peace where you are. I am sending you energy to harness your inner power to help you get “unstuck.” Perhaps others that read this could also send you some energy. Much love, Bev
Hi I’m Jason. Ever since my good friend and roommate moved to texas a few yrs I have felt like something is missing socially. I feel like I’m lacking connections so I’ve started looking for friends and groups to join and dates. I have one good friend I can talk to regularly but I feel like I could open up to her more. I don’t know if a larger social life would help or not. I feel like there’s a void. It feels like a midlife crisis. I had a longterm girlfriend but I broke it off five yrs ago because their seemed to be a lack of passion. Maybe it was a lack of connection. I often find myself overeating.
Hi Jason,
Thanks for your vulnerability and for sharing how you’re wanting deeper connections. I too experienced these same feelings at “midlife” and came to learn that it was a choice point in my life. I wrote more about what Brené Brown calls the “midlife unraveling” in a blog that you can read HERE.. It really is an invitation to turn our attention inward in order to get to know ourselves better. As we deepen our connection with ourselves, we find that we deepen our connection with other people. I can also identify with overeating which spontaneously went away as I attended to my deeper needs. Much love on your journey, Bev
Hi,
I really like being with other people but recently, I’ve been feeling like I don’t belong to any group and I’m alone
Hi Emmanuel,
That is a really tough place to be!!! I hope that you can see from these posts that many people feel this way and that you’re not alone. I’m sending much love to you! Bev
Hello bev,
I moved in to a boarding school for a year and a half and I always feel like something is missing I made a decent amount of friends but it’s not the same as where I came from. It just feels like something is missing where days just goes by and I keep questioning myself what the meaning in everything.
Maybe it is not really relevant but it’s been bothering me for quite a while, but is there any advice I can get from you? Thank you
Hi Oscar,
Thanks for sharing your experience! Moves are very unsettling and challenging for many people, so you are not alone! The feeling that something is missing is one of the most common things I hear from people around the world for all sorts of different reasons. Sometimes talking it over with someone you trust or writing about it in a journal can be helpful. If you believe in prayer, pray about it and ask for some insights or answers. Through all of this, practice being kind to yourself! You’ve asked the question and I trust the answers will come to you. Much love, Bev.
Thank you so much, I have been harsh to myself for a long time and I didn’t notice until just now.thank you for your advices and once again thank you so much
Oscar,
That is a HUGE realization that you’ve had. Most of us are harsh on ourselves. Even though I was a Nurse and kind to others, I too was really harsh on myself. Learning to be kinder with ourselves is the first and most important step. Perhaps check out Kristin Neff or Tara Brach as they both provide helpful ways to understand self-compassion and have free resources that will help you become kinder to yourself. Much love to you, Bev
I was feeling so missing and I read your article and i got to know that . I am feeling missing because I don’t have the friend whom with I can share my deeper feelings and thoughts , but now what to do?
Hi Sakshi,
Yes, many of us long for deep connections with others. You asked what you could do. Do you have access to counselling? It’s often helpful to share these feelings with someone who understands and can perhaps support you in developing deeper friendships. Much love to you, Bev.
Hey Bev,
I’m just a teenager but as long as I can remember I’ve always felt like there’s something missing – like I’m meant to do more or be more than I am. Do I just ignore this, and if not should I do something about this? I’m curious so I just searched ‘why do I feel like something’s missing?’, and was pleasantly surprised that this is something lots of people research and feel too. I guess I’m just wondering what advice you have on what to do, or what not to do. Good article by the way – it helped?
Hi Annie – Thank you for leaving a comment and sharing how you’ve had a sense for a long time that something is missing. Such a powerful observation that you wonder whether you’re meant to do more or be more than you are. Many of us feel that same way and I’m so glad that you’ve realized from the post and the comments that you definitely aren’t alone!
You asked me about what you can do. Probably the most important thing is to learn to accept and love yourself for who you are. You are worthy and loved without having to “do” or “be” anything other than who you are!! Because that doesn’t come naturally to many of us, I often think the best place to start is with mindfulness. Have you tried mindfulness? There’s a free app called Stop, Breath & Think for teens that you can start with. Or Mindvalley has a good program which is free now because of Covid. Practicing mindfulness will serve you for the rest of your life. So much love to you, Bev
Nothing fills the emptiness not a new job not a fun day out With loved ones …nothing I always come back home settle in an feel that feeling of something’s missing lingering within. Like there’s something bigger but I can’t see it or touch it but I know it’s there. It’s hard to explain. Great article
Hi, Christen-You describe so beautifully how we will never be filled from without, although that is where we often seek our fulfillment. Your sense that something bigger wants to emerge through you is a powerful sign of an invitation to awaken the deeper parts of yourself. It’s hard to explain for many of us because we’re opening to the mystery and the mystery is hard to put into words. Thank you for sharing your deep insights! Much love, Bev
Hi Bev,
So I’ve always heard that other people can’t make you happy, that you have to love yourself first. I’ve never really cared about that meaning until recently when I had a conversation about my marriage with my older sister. She made a comment that she’s never understood why me and my twin have always been broken, but we have been and still are. I have tended to just accept that I’m just here to be here. I’m not religious and it irks me every time my husband tells me that I just need to accept God and I’ll see things differently. I have tried religion before but it has never done anything for me. So now that I’m 33, almost 34, I feel more now that something is missing and I have no purpose or friends. So I just put in Google, why does it feel like something is missing inside, and this article came up. I read it and it resonated with me. It describes everything I feel and think. So I’m just trying to figure out like what my next step should be, I guess. Thank you for any help or advice you can give me.
Hi Krystyna! Thanks so much for sharing with us and I’m glad the article resonated with you! I really do agree that loving ourselves is key to living with deeper peace and happiness. You mentioned that your sister thinks you’re “broken” and I have the belief that while many of us are “disconnected” from our true selves, we are not broken. I too found that structured religion didn’t resonate with me, although I am very spiritual and have spiritual practices that connect me with something larger than myself. You had asked about what your next steps might be. I’m currently working on my next blog post to answer that question as many others have asked as well. Check back shortly for the post and/or sign up for my email list so you’ll be notified. I hope it will help with your next steps. Much love to you! Bev
Hii Bev,
I don’t know I suddenly feel that something is missing .like I don’t know but something is missing. I take care of every one. I want every single person to be happy but I do what every person love. I do what my parents want, what my cousins want, what my family want . I don’t know who I’m, what I want. I still don’t know how to explain my feelings. I feel I’m lost.
Hi Iman- Thanks for your comment! You described really well the root cause of feeling like something is missing in our lives. It’s our own sense of “self” and the plan our soul has for us. When we do what other people want it may be “right” for their path but it is often not our path. We lose ourselves in an attempt to please and satisfy other people’s expectations and make others happy. Finding our own sense of self and who we are at our core becomes the challenge for many of us in life. It takes courage to follow our own path at the risk of disappointing others. You are not alone! Much love to you, Bev.
Hi Bev,
I feel the same Ghere is something missing on my life, more so in the last 2 weeks. It’s been a long time since I did not feel like this maybe 2.5 years ago when I embarked in a self discovery soul searching spiritual awareness journey without even knowing. Have gone along way and have even found a meaningful connection that has helped me and supported to transform many areas of my life but somehow I feel no longer connected with that meaningful connection all of the sudden and since this happened I also feel disconnected from me and feel a deep sense is something missing in my life of lack of joy. Even the synchronicities and signs I used to see se to have become more rare. Any advice would be very welcome. Thank you
Hi Andreea- thanks for your comment and that’s great to hear you’ve come a long way and found a meaningful connection. You’ve highlighted what naturally happens on the path of personal and spiritual development. We make progress and then find we reach what can best be described as a plateau or even what feels like a step backwards. When we notice this it is helpful to revisit our spiritual practices like meditation and make necessary modifications. I’ve also found the Enneagram extremely helpful for discerning an individual’s next steps for personal growth and transformation. This might also be a time when a person works with a mentor/guide/coach who can provide further direction and support in terms of the next steps. Much love to you, Bev.
Hi Bev , i Am constantly feeling like something is missing in my life ,my head even , i feel like i have a purpose in life but dont know what is it hence the reason i google im desperately seeking a cure for my crave, life is far too short and im wasting it .
Hi Teresa- Thanks for sharing! Although we’re all different, I’ve found it helpful to view my “purpose” in the context of what is happening in the present moment and the stage of life I’m in. Our purpose shifts and evolves. There is a lot to be learned from your sense of “craving” and perhaps it is inviting you to get curious about it. Much love to you! Bev
It’s somewhat suffocating to live for the past few years , constantly missing something that I don’t even know to begin with.
Always felt that its a stage that would fade away soon than I expect; its been a long time
,And still it hurts to wake up in the morning and go on with all the wonderful things I got.
At times,it feels like I’m not giving much importance to everything I got and that I’m ungrateful,maybe I am.
Pillars of my life giving me support and everything I’m supposed to have and I cry till no tears are willing to come out at night .
I’m lost and I’ve been told that I’m too young to feel this.
Hence, please give me some advice if you can or want to.
Love,AK
Hi AK- Thanks for sharing! I want to acknowledge how hard it is to feel that something is missing and not be able to put your finger on what it is. Most of us have not been taught to look inside ourselves for answers. I’ve heard from many young people who also feel this way so you’re definitely not alone! If you haven’t already, I’m hoping you have an emotional health professional that you can speak with that perhaps could provide support and tools as well as give you the help you need to get some clarity about what might be missing. We’re not meant to do this alone. I’m sending much love to you, Bev.
Hello I came across your article when I searched up that why I feel something is missing in my life. I am really grateful that I’m not alone and that a lot feel this way too. I don’t know if I feel this way because of covid and all since people did say that affects of teens start to feel this way. Although school has started, I am online and will continue online school. I have felt ever since this covid and all till now that I am missing something. I believe in God and I feel like he may be calling me to do something but don’t know what…
Before this whole Covid, I was certain, positive and again certain with my life. But now I feel like I have lost that spark in me. That hope i lost, that faith in me I lost. And I feel more confused and lost and I feel a bit sad idk. Please email me back. I would love if you tell me what I should do that I feel this way. And what it really means that my soul or God is inviting me to this journey as you said something like that in your article. Thank you so much and I really hope to recieve and email from you. Thank you so much have a great day :)
Hi Daniela- I’m so glad to hear that it provides you with some comfort and relief to know that you are not alone!!!! I wrote this blog before COVID and am now seeing how a global pandemic is challenging many of us in ways that are difficult to understand. COVID is highlighting how important our real connections are. There is global “suffering” going on right now and it is so understandable that you feel sad and a loss for what we previously enjoyed and I for one at times took for granted. Know that you are not alone! You asked what you can do because you feel this way- I wrote a blog about practicing “self-compassion” with ourselves and I think it would be very helpful for you, and all of us at this difficult time. Self-compassion is a way of being with ourselves when we’re having a hard time. Here is a link to the blog with a description of HOW to actually do it. I truly believe this one practice changes lives and you’ll have it for the rest of your life: https://bevjanisch.com/compassion/. All my love you!!! Bev
I’m seventeen years old, currently studying my alevels at college. I’ve been feeling everything you described in your article and I’m so appreciative there are others who understand and are here to help us on our spiritual journey. My “current” focus from this article is to stop searching for fulfilment in external things. I’m will not find the satisfaction inside I desire from passing top marks in my exams, or buying new clothes, or gaining approval from my peers, everything I have I need within. Although this is hard I have recognised it is simply a pattern, I buy my new clothes and still feel empty so I seek other external energy. Thank you, for helping me. I say “current” because I know when I have achieved this step in my journey I can reread this article and know I will have a different perspective and different takeaway. Best wishes !
Hi Tallula- I am SO grateful that you took away such a powerful message from this blog. I really appreciate that you left a comment that is really inspiring to myself and others. You are definitely not alone in your spiritual journey. For you to be seeing the “patterns” in yourself is truly empowering. Thank you for sharing!!!! Please reach out anytime when you feel you need some guidance and/or support for your spiritual journey – [email protected]. Much love to you! Bev
I am 64 years old, retired 3 years ago thinking I had a lot to look forward to, but in that time I lost both of my parents and sister in law and then COVID-19 hit and now have no direction, feel empty and am down on life with that feeling that is this all there is, seems like the older I get, the more confused I get about what my purpose in this life is.
Hi Mark- I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of both your parents and your sister in law. What a painful time for you! My heart goes out to you. Please be gentle with yourself during this time and create space for your grief. Many feel a lack of purpose after retiring and a sense of emptiness and confusion. You are not alone! It becomes a new season in our life to begin a new journey of exploration and curiosity. With patience and over time, new things reveal themselves to us. I often find it more helpful to let go of the focus on “purpose” and get curious about what feels “meaningful?” Much love to you, Bev
I have been in the survival mode for quite a long time, that the basic things life have to offer to me comes as a result of struggle. This constant struggle has left me drained with void that i can’t explain. i am constantly looking for a way to improve my life and that of my dependents where opportunities are very limited and competitive. I feel there is more to my life than just waking up to 9 to 6 job and come back at night, to start the same routine till the weekend. i want something i can engage my body, soul and mind in and where i can take stock of happenings in my life.
Your article has been helpful, and i just find out while typing this that I lack true friendship even in my marriage, we only scratch the surface while I need soul alignment with my partner.
Thanks so much for your comment! You are definitely not alone in terms of feeling like you’ve been living in “survival” mode. The constant struggle does leave us feeling drained and it is for that reason I’m SO passionate about practices like meditation that help us recharge and become more resilient on the inside. You’ve had a powerful insight about lacking friendship in your marriage. That deeper sense of connection is so important for our health. It takes some work, but it is possible to find that deeper connection. I’m really thankful to hear that you found this post helpful. Love, Bev
Well not sure on what to say but I lost my wife dogs house cat cars boat this year in March builders didnt pay me and we had to liquidate and Corona was the nail in the coffin it all was blamed on me and I have nothing 43 starting again I dont know where what how to do anything need inspiration which I’ve sorta found reading this blog
Hi Corbyn! Thanks for sharing and I’m SO sorry that you’re experienced so many losses and are going through a very difficult time. I know a lot of people will resonate with your experience. I’m glad to hear that you found the blog to be inspiring. You are not alone and I have a sense that something new and meaningful will arise from your struggles. Love, Bev
How can i find my path? What steps do i take to begin MY journey? Im 73 years old and feel like life is coming to a dull end…somedays im ready to lay down and go to sleep for ever. However i know ive still got passion
Hi Julie,
What a great question and one that many of us are asking and continue to ask throughout our lives. It’s so vital to focus on that sense of passion that you have. Such a powerful message that you have something that is needing/wanting to be expressed through you. The second half of life is about connecting with ourselves and inquiring about what our souls are asking of us.
One thing is certain, and that is the path is not all laid out in front of us. We need to begin to move through life as a “curious explorer”. Begin with things that you’re interested in and take baby steps. It’s also helpful to know that the soul wants us to be of service to something greater than ourselves. Continually asking, how can I be of service? Much love, Bev
That is a lot to lose in one year. WOW !! I’m asking what became of you today and are things better? I’m sure you have an interesting story to tell and I’m thinking you definitely can help others going through the same.
Oh woow.. me I always die inside of me e en if I have all what it takes for someone to be happy, I still feel sad and crying at heart..
Thanks.. this has been helpful
It feels like life is just passing me by. I don’t know what this means, any clarification?
Hi Grace! Great question about what it means when you feel like your life is passing you by. You’re wise to ask the question about what it might mean, as that is the first step in discerning what your next step might be. Please feel free to send me an email if you’d like some help exploring what that might mean for you and your life. You have the answers inside you- you just may need some guidance as to how to access them. Take good care!
Hey Bev, I was sensing a drastic drop in my sense of self-fulfillment, I noticed myself have heart palpitation, constantly search for external validation, and just for the ‘something’ on the internet I came across this article after insufficient results for a search of ” What constitutes a wholesome person’.
I cannot begin to tell what a revelation this article was, I had goosebumps right from the beginning. Especially your diagnosis of why we feel something is missing, was so precise and consistent with this feeling
THANK YOU !
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I’m delighted to hear that this article resonated with you and helped you gain some clarity about why you may be feeling something is missing. You are definitely not alone!! Much love on your journey.
Hey
I need help regarding a similar issue. How to get your services?
Hi there! You can explore my services on my website and send me an email if you have questions. I always love to hear from people!
Hi Bev
I came across your article when i typed and searched in the google the words “i feel always missing something ”
After I read your article I found out that not only me but lot of people do feel that way.
I don’t know to get better from this situation what steps I will have to take.
Any way thanks for your article
Chris
Hi Chris! Thanks for your comment. You are definitely not alone as many people feel this way. In terms of the steps you can take, it’s not so much about getting better as it creating meaning around your experience so that you can move forward with greater alignment with who you are meant to become. Please send me an email at [email protected] if you need guidance. Take care, Bev