There’s a part of every living thing that wants to become itself, the tadpole into the frog, the chrysalis into the butterfly, a damaged human being into a whole one. That is spirituality.” ~ Ellen Bass

Many of us are driven by inner restlessness and longing. A sense that something is missing in life, although it is difficult to put our finger on what it is.

There’s a peculiar ache that settles into the quiet spaces of our days. It arrives uninvited, this feeling that, despite having much to be grateful for, perhaps relationships, work, accomplishments, a life that looks good on paper, something vital feels absent. We find ourselves standing in the middle of what should be enough, yet sensing there must be more.

I remember standing on the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro, literally on top of the world, yet feeling as low as I could ever remember being. The irony wasn’t lost on me as I stood at 19,341 feet above sea level, having accomplished something most people only dream of, and yet inside I felt empty.

But as I stood there in the thin air, looking out over the vast expanse of Africa below, I couldn’t escape the gnawing sense that something essential was missing. Not from the climb, we had made it to the top. Something was missing from me. From my life. From the very core of who I was supposed to be.

That moment on the mountain became a turning point, though I didn’t understand it then. What felt like emptiness at the summit was actually my soul trying to get my attention, letting me know that I had been climbing the wrong mountain all along. The heights I needed to reach weren’t external but internal. I needed to go deeper, not higher.

This sense that something is missing in life is a message arising from an intelligent universe. It’s an appointment with your soul.

The Inner Tug of War

It’s confusing to have an inner tug of war between the part of us that says we should just be grateful and the part of ourselves that whispers there must be “more.”

And if feeling lost and confused isn’t enough, we also feel lonely because most people don’t understand what we’re experiencing. We get the message: “You have so much and are so fortunate, what could possibly be missing in your life?”

At the heart of this seeking is the need to know who we are and why we are here. What is this journey we call life all about?

What I eventually discovered through my own journey is this: that inner void wasn’t a sign that something was wrong with me. It was evidence that the next version of myself was ready to emerge. Beneath the roles I’d been playing and the life I’d been living, there was a deeper truth waiting to be uncovered.

What This Feeling Is Trying to Tell You

Through my own transformation and years of walking alongside others on similar journeys, I began to see a pattern. This aching sense that something is missing usually points to one of three deeper disconnections:

We Have Lost Touch With Our True Selves

In this scenario, we have been so busy focusing on other people or fulfilling the many roles in our lives that we lose touch with our innermost selves. We may notice that we know more about what brings other people happiness and joy than what brings us deeper fulfillment.

We lose sight of our own values, gifts, and what makes our hearts sing. Our authentic self becomes buried beneath layers of beliefs about who we should be. We’re busy being “good” people, doing what we should do, and in the process, we lose touch with who we actually are and who we’re meant to become.

Our personality is content to keep things the same, in our comfort zone. Our soul, however, has another agenda, and it asks that we heal and grow. This requires that we develop a healthy relationship with ourselves and honor the inner urge to live more fully in alignment with our soul’s blueprint.

We Are Ready for Deeper, More Meaningful Relationships

As we begin to awaken, we are less satisfied with living in the shallow end of life. Our souls long for deep and fulfilling relationships where we can share our most intimate thoughts and feelings with those closest to us.

We want and need deeper connections with people—a desire to share and discover our authentic selves with others in safe and nourishing ways. Just as we are meant to grow and evolve, our relationships are also meant to grow and evolve. When this doesn’t happen, we feel stuck, like we’re living as roommates rather than soul companions.

While earlier in our lives we may be satisfied with relationships that enable us to share tasks and manage roles, there comes a point when our souls need something deeper. What meets our needs in one chapter of our life doesn’t meet our needs in the next.

We Are Hungry for Deeper Meaning and Purpose

This gnawing sense that something is missing is often a sign that we have a spiritual yearning we may not be aware of. It’s an invitation from our soul to bring our life into alignment with our core essence.

The universe, divine intelligence, God, higher power—whatever you call “it”—is setting off an alarm that may be saying: “You are a spiritual being having a human experience.” When we don’t know how to live as spiritual beings, it’s not surprising that something feels missing.

Our society values material success, achievement, status, and identification with our roles. When we achieve these things yet still feel empty, we become confused about what brings deeper meaning and purpose. We find ourselves asking: Who am I beyond all the roles that define me? Is this all there is?

The Mystery Invitation

This sense that something is missing in life is ultimately an invitation to embark on an inner journey, to understand ourselves and get in the “flow” of something much larger than our small, conditioned selves.

It’s an opportunity to shift from doing what was expected of us in the first half of our lives to responding to what needs to emerge through us for the next part of our journey. This shift is challenging for many of us because it requires letting go of the familiar to make space for what has yet to reveal itself.

When I felt that emptiness standing on that mountain summit, I didn’t yet understand that my soul was stirring. That what felt like loss was actually an invitation to remember who I’d always been beneath the conditioning and expectations I’d accumulated over five decades of living.

The journey from “something is missing” to coming home to yourself is a mysterious unraveling. The gentle stripping away of everything that isn’t truly you, so you can live from the place of who you really are. Another name for this journey of transformation is the dark night of the soul.

You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself

If something in these words speaks to what you can’t quite put into language, I want you to know: you’re not broken. You’re being called to awaken. You’re part of a quiet revolution of people who feel something is missing, not because they need to be fixed, but because they’re ready to find themselves and live more authentically.

When we create space, turn inward, and get curious about what’s missing in our lives, we open the door to evolving into a more authentic, peaceful, and loving version of ourselves. The something that is missing isn’t out there waiting to be found. It’s in there, waiting to be remembered.

If you’re recognizing yourself in this experience and wondering, “What do I do now?”—I’ve written about 3 empowering tips that can gently guide you home to yourself and toward a life of greater vitality, connection, and meaning.

The tadpole doesn’t become a frog by trying harder to be a better tadpole. It becomes a frog by following the mysterious intelligence that knows exactly what it’s meant to become. And so it is with us.

What resonates most deeply for you in this exploration? We’d love to hear your reflections in the comments below.