A few years ago, I found myself staring in the mirror, asking a question that caught me completely off guard: Who am I when I’m not being a wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend or nurse?

I had a good life. From the outside, everything looked fine. But inside, I felt scattered, restless, and unsure of myself. I’d spent years pouring into the roles I deeply loved—but somewhere along the way, I’d lost touch with me.

It wasn’t the usual kind of stress. It was a quiet, persistent ache. A feeling that something was missing, though I couldn’t name what.

Have you ever felt this way? Like you’re living your life from the outside in, meeting everyone else’s needs while your own inner voice grows quieter and quieter?

The Stress of Losing Yourself

What I was experiencing has a name: existential stress. It’s one of the deeper types of inner stress that arises when we begin asking life’s bigger questions—Who am I really? What brings me alive? Is this all there is?

Unlike everyday stress that comes from busy schedules or demanding situations, existential stress comes from within. It doesn’t respond to time off or positive thinking. It’s the stress of feeling disconnected from your true self, even when everything on the outside seems “fine.”

This kind of stress had been building in me for years. I’d been so focused on being who I thought I should be—the perfect wife, the devoted mother, the good daughter, that I’d forgotten to ask what I actually needed to feel fulfilled.

Looking back, I can see this wasn’t a failure. It was a sacred invitation to come home to myself.

When Your Soul Calls You Home

What if that restless, “something is missing” feeling isn’t a problem to solve but a message to listen to?

When we meet existential stress with curiosity instead of judgment, we discover it might be asking us:

  • Who am I when I’m not doing for others?
  • What parts of myself have I silenced to keep everyone happy?
  • What would bring me alive again?
  • What is my soul trying to tell me?

These aren’t easy questions. They don’t have quick answers. But they’re worth asking because on the other side is a deeper peace, a renewed sense of self, and a life that actually feels like your own.

You Don’t Need to Fix Yourself, You Need to Find Yourself

If you’re in this place of questioning, you’re not alone. So many women I work with arrive at this crossroads being successful, capable, caring people who suddenly find themselves feeling empty inside despite doing everything “right.”

They’ve lost themselves trying to be who everyone else needed them to be. They gave up dreams, passions, and parts of themselves that felt too much or too inconvenient. Now they’re wondering: Who am I underneath it all?

Here’s what I want you to know: You’re not broken. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not failing at life.

You’re being called back to yourself.

The Way Forward

The path forward isn’t about abandoning your roles. It’s about expanding your sense of self. It’s about remembering who you are at your core, beyond what you do for others.

In my own journey, and now in the journeys I guide others through, I’ve discovered that healing this kind of soul-level disconnection requires both science and soul. That’s why I created the 4 Keys to Inner Peace—a framework that helps people move from feeling lost and scattered to clear, confident, and authentically alive.

The keys are:

  • Self-Regulation: Learning to calm your nervous system so you can hear your inner voice again
  • Self-Love: Treating yourself with the same compassion you give everyone else
  • Self-Discovery: Reconnecting with who you are beneath all the conditioning
  • Self-Expression: Living and speaking from your truth

Your Soul is Calling You Home

If you’re asking, “Who am I beyond my roles?” you’re already on the path. That question itself is your soul calling you home to yourself.

You don’t have to choose between loving others and honoring yourself. You can be a devoted wife, mother, daughter, and friend while also being fully, authentically you. In fact, when you come home to yourself, you have so much more to give from a place of genuine joy rather than obligation.

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. It’s never too late to nurture it.

If this resonates and you’re ready to come home to yourself, I’d be honored to guide you on that journey. My Ignite Your Spark transformational coaching program was created for exactly this moment—when you know something needs to shift, but you’re not sure how to begin.